Given your willingness to discuss this subject and your familiarity with Scripture, I seriously doubt that you have committed the unforgivable sin. After all:
1 Timothy 1:13-15 = “Although I [Paul] was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief."
The penalty of eternal separation from God with no hope of return applies in scripture only in two cases—either, as in Hebrews 6 and 10, to persons who willfully, publicly and explicitly reject Jesus as Savior after having confessed him, or, as in the gospels, to those who blaspheme against the Holy Spirit by declaring that the works of Jesus were the works of the Evil one.
I found this explanation somewhat helpful: The Unpardonable Sin
When Jesus spoke to the Pharisees, He told them that all sin and blasphemy (defined by the scribes as a direct and explicit abuse of the name of God) is forgivable. He then added an exception for a very specific type of blasphemy, that which is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. In context, the Pharisees had just said that Jesus’ power to cast out devils was by Beelzebub (Matthew 12:24). Beelzebub means “lord of flies,” and was the name of a guardian deity of the Ekronites (2 Kings 1:2). The Jews used this name as an epithet for Satan. In this context, the Pharisees were saying that Jesus was of Satan. The scribes also attributed Jesus’ power as given by Satan (Mark 3:22). The words of the Pharisees and scribes were blasphemy of Jesus. Their words were a direct and explicit abuse of His name and a rejection of who Jesus is.
This blasphemy by the Pharisees and scribes led Jesus to expound more clearly on a sin that was, and always will be, unpardonable—the blaspheming of the Holy Spirit. Since the work of the Holy Spirit is to testify of Jesus, when someone blasphemes the Holy Spirit they are rejecting the testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ.
While someone is doing that, there is, by definition, no way for help to reach them.
So just quit doing that!
Well, I don't know... That interpretation seems to be kind of far fetched. I think Jesus is quite clear on this case. If somebody speaks against Holy Spirit, it won't be ever forgiven.
Only when that rejection becomes settled and firm is there is no hope for forgiveness.
Google "unpardonable sin". There's tons of commentary to that effect.
If somebody takes Bible seriously and literally, there shouldn't be any need for interpretation. Jesus means exactly what he says. Why else he would have said that?
This is by far the best chat dialogue I have ever seen, so much collaboration . Jesus4Life!
That's why I said you should read the large body of commentary (of which I provided a sample above). You can take the Bible seriously and literally and still spend a lifetime understanding the deep implications of everything that Jesus said. Jesus spoke in parables so that only those with the right attitude would understand him. There are many audiences for his words across all time and one should not assume the simplest surface meaning is all there is.
Besides, its not in your best interest to assume the worst case. That way leads to the dark side. While there is life there is hope.
Yeah, Jesus spoke in parables, but I don't think that is case in this situation. He is not telling a story, he is stating facts.