This is the second post in a series on parenting. It is not an attempt to give advice or solutions. Rather it is an attempt to highlight the importance of good parenting. And to highlight the things I think is important or at least some of them. Hopefully, it will inspire you to contribute to the conversation.
The series:
- Nothing more important
- Three things I want my children to know
- Three things I want my daughter to know
- Three things I want my son to know
At first, I wanted to title this 'Three things I want to teach my children'. However, the reality is I do not care who teaches them. As long as they get to know and understand the importance of the following three things.
1. Confidence
It is of utmost importance that my children have confidence in their ability to face and overcome any and every challenge that comes their way. To have confidence they need to know why they can face up to anything. It should not a false bravado that I nurture in them, but a healthy and realistic confidence in their real abilities.
We call this affirmation.
Jesus had an amazing relationship with His Father during His ministry on earth. He spent time with Him at every opportunity and drew strength from His company after a long day of ministry.
We have only two recorded conversations where God spoke to Jesus. Two opportunities where God could show us how to be a parent. I'm sure He carefully considered what He would say, what He considered to be the two most important things to show us. The list from which He chose must have been very long.
Guess what! He chose to say the same thing twice!
"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."
Affirmation! I need to say something affirming to my children every day. I need to act affirming towards them. Every day. And I should NEVER be the voice that breaks them down. Never!
If I had to choose one thing instead of three, this would be it. It is the example God as Father set for us.
2. Problem-solving skills
We all need to solve problems on a daily basis. Skills in this regard are more valuable than gold. My children need to be able to think outside the box. They need to find new solutions to old problems. Creativity in their thinking is something I need to develop in them and reward with great joy.
Paul gives us this profound truth:
... we have the mind of Christ. (1Co 2:16b NIV)
What is the limit to our creativity? If there is a solution, and there always is, we should be able to find it! And if we get stuck we should pray and think. And pray and read.
I often ask my children to propose three different solutions to a challenge they face. Then we discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each. We should raise great problem-solvers!
3. Forgiveness
We all need to forgive often. Not forgiving someone is likened to drinking poison and hoping the other person will get sick. There is no benefit in unforgiveness. None. However, you will hurt yourself immensely and continually if you hold on to a grudge of any kind. I need to teach my children to forgive quickly and easily. For their sake.
Near the end of Paul's life with most of his recorded story behind him, he writes about what is truly important to him. After all the things he had learned and experienced, he says he does only one thing.
... I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, (Php 3:13 NLT)
We either hold on to the past. Or we reach out to the future. We cannot do both!
I want my children to constantly reach out to a better tomorrow!
What do you think are important things to teach our children? Surely there are more than three!
I look forward to reading your comments.
I like the way you teach your children. I totally agree with # 1 and # 2 but # 3 does not look good at all, i believe there are things that our emotions do not allow forgiveness. Instead, I will help the kids to think positively in every situation, let's look at some bad thing that happens just to be God's challenge, when we overcome that challenge, the reward is right after there.
thank you for your post!
Thank you @ziggypepper. I so appreciate your support and agree that thinking positively will make a huge difference in any situation.
It is fascinating that you feel forgiveness is not an option in some situations. While I understand from personal experience that it can be very difficult, my perspective is that it is extremely harmful not to forgive. I actually have a vague outline for a blog on the topic. If you will give me permission I will quote you in the blog as a starting point for my argument. That way you will know when it is posted as it may take a week or two to get there.
Is it OK if I do this?
I really want to learn more about it, I keep track of your posts,
I hope to see it soon in your post.
Awesome! Will do!
Agree with all of them will just add 1. Work hard. Dont sit back and let everyone do everything for you. Otherwise you will never know the value of hardwork.
Awesome addition! Thank you @tanyaschutte. I hope you will pop in for the next two posts. The one will focus on my daughter and the other on my son and should be up in the next two days.
i totally foresee a great parenting skills been lined out....if all parents follow your least ideas it will work out on them and their children..... from kryptonia @everdope
VP2W8KL6Y7
This is not a comment @nixxsixx. I should revoke you on Kryptonia!
I agree with you these things mentioned are very important. Life skills are also important where your children can do on their own in the real worl...
Thank you @rubelynmacion. I agree.
I would agree with the three of them. These are very vital & helps build one's personality.
I would add "Hardwork Pays" to the list.
Thank you @ammyluv. @tanyaschutte agrees with you regarding hard work in her comment here. Great minds...
I'm a parenting failure. I do not want to give advice. My obesity caused my son's severe ptsd and it is my biggest regret. I wish I would have gotten healthier before my many near-death incidents traumatized him.
I'm coming to you from @kryptonia with the same user name.
It must have been a very traumatic chapter in both your lives @fitinfun. Constantly fighting for your live will leave scars.
I am so glad it was not your last chapter! And that your love for your son inspired you to find the tools to live a different kind of life. Now many more people can get access to those tools.
Three skills that all parents should nurture in their child. Kriptonian visit, gave you +1.
I love this:
Thank you for sharing out of your own personal experience!