So last week I started a series of posts how to find a mate. Yesterday dealt with the topic to get to know yourself first. If you missed it you can read it here:
https://steemit.com/christian-trail/@hope777/love-and-marriage-111-how-to-find-a-mate-step-1-know-yourself
The second post was what are you're requirements for a mate.
https://steemit.com/christian-trail/@hope777/love-and-marriage-112-how-to-find-a-mate-step-2-what-are-your-requirements-for-a-mate
So now that you know what you will want in a mate you can start looking for that mate. I know the first thing you will ask is but where in the world do I begin?
Well even before you begin searching you have to make up your mind that you want to find a life partner or a spouse. If you decide that, then it is time to MAKE IT HAPPEN!. It is not just going to fall in your lap, or the girl of your dreams won't necessarily trip in front of you, you take her for coffee and you will live happily ever after. That is the unrealistic stuff we see in the movies, if that is your idea, you have to wake up. We live in the real world not in a movie scene.
As I said in my previous post:
Note that I am not using the term soulmate as I don't really believe in soulmates. I do believe in true love, but to believe that somewhere on the earth there is another person that will fit you like a glove and complete you, in my opinion, is wishful thinking and unrealistic. This may be the reason why lots of single people struggle to find a life-partner. Along with this belief of soulmates also goes the belief that you will find each other some magical way or other. That will also not happen. If you are looking for someone to spend your life with, you have to make it happen! If you find someone and you work through the process your "in love" will turn into "true love" if you are 100% committed to making it work!
In real life, you will have to put yourself out there. If you are a Christian you can definitely pray that God will send you the right person and you can have faith that He will answer your prayer. But you still have to do some work. I heard a sermon very long ago that I would never forget. The pastor used this words over and over "Ora et Labora" which means pray and work.
http://monacato.blogspot.co.za/2013/03/ora-et-labora.html
So what work must you do? You must put yourself "out there". If you are looking for a mate it is no use to sit at home night after night, weekend after weekend. You have to go out and meet people. You have your "picture" of how your mate should look like. Remember you most probably won't find someone that fits your picture exactly but you will have to have at least some things in common.
Start looking in places of common interest. If you said you liked the outdoors, join a hiking group or club. If you are a physical person, join the local gym. If you are Christian, church, bible studies and home cells would be an excellent place to meet a potential future mate. Places, where you would not interact with others are not good places to go, like to go watch movie or go to a concert as all of your attention will be on the movie, show or concert. If that is your interest you can go on a date there but not too meet your potential mate.
Do different things you haven't done before, sign up for some classes, maybe a cooking class, a dance class or photographic classes. You have to socialize to meet people.
- Let your friends know that you are looking for a mate. Your friends know you well and would probably know someone they think will be a match for you. Lots of happy couples met each other through matchmaking friends or family.
- You can meet someone at work, just be careful sometimes it can get complicated if you work together. Some companies even have a policy that doesn't allow relationships in the work environment. My son and future daughter-in-law met at work, fall in love and they were both ask to resign. It was in their employment contract that relationships are not allowed.
- And of course there is the internet. Today we have this wonderful tool where we can meet people. The world wide web. You can even meet someone in steemit chat or on discord. Join a dating site, or chat in chatrooms, but stay real. If you don't want to complicate things decide how far you will move or travel to meet a person. My hubby and I met on a dating site. After he droved a 1000km to meet a girl who was not truthful he decided his next-door town was the furthest he would drive again. And guess what that is where I was also looking for a mate after my first hubby died. Beware of people that are fake and not truthful. If you can chat on cam at least you can see what the real person looks like. After meeting on the internet make a real date, like a coffee date as soon as possible. Be safe, always meet in a public place first and even take a friend with. There is a lot of psycho's out there too.
Next post we will look what should happen on the first date.
Thank you for reading, be blessed.
Images: www.freepik.com except where otherwise indicated.
Love is not about finding the right person,but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end. I really love your post.. Thanks for the meaningful post
That is so well said, I could not have said it better, may I quote you in my next post? Thanks so much for commenting!
Yes, you can
Thank you and welcome to steemit, you will do good.
Thanks ma'am
Cheers !! Finally I got a genuine information :) thanks to u
Thank you for reading and commenting! Keep on following for more!
One can also be lucky to bump into their true love at the most unexpected times. Some grpw their love with time. Yes i totally agree that you cannot sit on your loins and wait for truelove to fall from the sky. This was my solution after my first hearybreak, i couldnt heal until i started to go out again meeting new people. Thanks for the post. Cheers
Thank you for commenting @mistakili. Yes, I agree it is possible to meet the right person at unexpected times. I am glad you find a way to get healed after a heartbreak.
@mistakili I would say though that after a heartbreak it wouldn't necessarily be wise to get into a relationship right away. At least not actively looking for it. Sometimes it's just good to have friends and let those authentic and relaxed relationships take you to the next thing.
~Blessings!
Hope you are having a great day :)
And what about my post????
Yes, it was good. Thank you for sharing :)
A very good article. I would say it's hard to find someone at church because most singles don't go to church anymore. They are too busy working. Work seems a better option unless you're self-employed like me. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for commenting @enjoywithtroy. That is a hard one for me to swallow that singles don't go to church anymore? ??. But in your line of your work, it would be easy to spot a single lady at a venue or function. ;-)
I truly believe if you look you won't find but God will send someone when it's time.