I feel for you my man, but listen... You can become stronger and more confident by writing out your worries and problems. If you can add drawings or pictures that relate to your words, you can make really amazing posts. You can inspire just by writing man, living with a disability as you have is inspiring enough, you deal with a lot that most people won't ever have to. I myself can learn from you, start posting everyday. I will upvote you when I can, don't give up because you will absolutely regret not giving yourself and steemit one more chance.