Husband: Honey I will buy a new mattress on my way home. The one we are using is no longer comfortable.
Wife: That's my Love ! But wait o, where will you get the money?
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Husband: I heard that Mr. B will pay our arrears today.
Wife: I always know that man will perform. Please Darling, don't forget the wristwatch you promised me o.
Husband: With all pleasure My Love.
5 hours later, the man arrived home in his car. Pin... Pin... Pin he blared his horn. The woman ran out to meet her husband.
Wife: Honey welcome (collecting her husband's briefcase, leading him into their sitting room).
Husband: You are always wonderful.
Wife: Where is the mattress and my wristwatch ?
Husband: Which mattress ? Abeg gimme my food. I never see alert o, the thing na rumour o.
The woman broke down weeping profusely.
Wife: Honey please forgive me......huuu huuu .
Husband: (loosing his patience) Dear what's all these now, what happened ?
Wife: Honey please forgive me oooooo..... I I I I...
Husband: (perceiving some odour, and looking out of the window). What's smelling like this, where is this smoke coming from ?
Wife: (still weeping) Huuu, I have burnt our mattress, I thought you would buy a new one truly, you know it is no longer good.
Husband: (furious, with a changed countenance). What ! You did what ? You must be joking. "Ti mo ba wa e". You will go back to your father's house today if this is true. You burnt the #500,000 my contribution money I hid in the mattress for us to roof our house.
Wife: Yepa ! You mean you have such huge amount in this house and you didn't tell me ?
Husband: If I get you today, I will show you who I am. (With this, he ran to the backyard where the smoke was coming from. Seeing the ashes of the burnt mattress, he fainted.
Lesson 1: Never hide anything from your wife, she's your better-half.
Lesson 2: Never run faster than your husband, he's your head.
Lesson 3: Don't rely on arrears or unpaid income to plan your home.