Yes, I am a person of contradictions! I am going to share two contradictory thoughts in me.
FIRST CONTRADICTORY THOUGHT
This is regarding my love-hate relationship with the notion of India. I love India for its diversity. But I hate India for its inherent caste-class-language divide which is ingrained in its society. Sometimes I feel modern India is a lie. Sometimes I feel this is a beautiful concept. Modern India is a British creation, even if people say otherwise. Being a dravidian from south India, it is very hard for me to digest the concept of hindi-language imposition on the south. Why promoting a single language? We believed in this concept India because when it was created we were promised about "Unity in diversity". It was not like a single ethnicity uniting as a fascist nation! While keep on cursing the situation, sometimes I hear beautiful hindi or punjabi songs and then starts fascinating about the concept of India.
Why you think you may be living with such a contradiction?
Maybe I started questioning my identity because I always learn about things. Gaining knowledge is great. But it may also open up sad truths!
Positive and Negative implications of the contradiction
The negative implication is that I argue a lot with my Indian friends. The positive thing is I started to appreciate all communities whether it is Pakistanis or Iranians or others. I have lot of friends from all around the world through social media and otherwise. I am a better human being now I guess because I care little about artificial border boundaries between countries!
SECOND CONTRADICTORY THOUGHT
I am agnostic. I don't really care about the concept of religion or god. I don't think such a concept is necessary to human beings to survive or to become moral beings. But being said that I have observed certain aspects me, which I respect the concept of monotheistic religions like Islam or Sikhism. I also enjoy Qawwali music which is a Sufi music tradition in the Indian subcontinent. The religious content in the music is not what I am attracted towards, but still gets goosebumps when I hear those.
Why you think you may be living with such a contradiction?
Maybe because there is a concept of universal brotherhood in those religions. We humans are social beings and this maybe the reason why I love those aspects of religion.
Positive and Negative implications of the contradiction
The negative implications of this is sometimes I get superstitious about things, although I know that it is not going to affect me in any way. The positive thing is that when I get depressed, Qawwal music helps me to recover from it. Also I learnt a lot about history and culture about lot of communities.
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