You are an inspiration. All of us suffer differently and we cope differently. The most important thing is to find someone you can share your thoughts and feelings and find those who can understand you and lend an ear. I'm glad that you did. It's heartbreaking and depressing but rightfully so when family and friends don't understand and support you and abandon you. As God is your witness, He is also your ally. Keep the faith and fight on, move on!
Amen. Just last night, I was in an intolerable pain and I can't do anything about it. I've probably spent the whole day praying and listening to good music. It was already 3am, I was already too tired to do anything. I was just repeating, "Lord, you are the only one who can let me sleep through this pain", and I was able to sleep. And I woke up now it's 8am, I feel so blessed to be still here.