Since I knew my disease, I became sensitive too. My lover left 'coz I said many times there are many girls in queue who are healthier, why me? I lost my trust and became anxious like if he missed to message nor call, the demon teases my thoughts that leads to fighting. So he left suddenly. I blamed no one.
I also encounter self-pity and you know what, you're lucky enough for your mother as your number 1 supporter because it is mother who puts down my feelings so I just cry with my elder sister that listens and understands my agony and discomforts.

There are times that people's sympathy makes no sense but since I encountered this disease, I never scared of death anymore. This world is not ours to live forever. Whoever we are, time will come to go back to our home.

At this point of my life, "Healer" by Hillsong is the song that erases pain and denial. When I went to the church, the pastor said that God makes my life this way to inspire people. He uses my story as real testimony of His absolute existence that this disease. Whenever I feel so gloomy and desperate, I just call the name of the Lord so the Satan stays away. Science explanations are nothing compare to His power. Soon we can find a doctor as instrument by God to treat us. At the time of the apostles era in Acts in the Bible, they annointed sick people with chronic diseases and acute diseases. They were healed according to their faith. Everytime I am depressed, I just read the Bible because by reading it means God is talking to us. Darlene in Hillsong who'se breast cancer patient is treated by her faith.

You're one of the best writers I've ever known!