In recent times, I have come across trust related posts in this community. All of them are eye opener to what is at stake when trust is betrayed. They also point out the benefits of being trustworthy. The recent post on this subject by @ogoowinner titled “Lost Trust May Never be Regained. Be careful” sink well into my reasoning faculty because she addressed an issue that is prevalent in our dear society.
The truth of the matter is that a betrayer of trust can be forgiven but cannot be forgotten except for a supernatural intervention.
I believe trust and integrity goes hand in hand. Both cannot be separated, you cannot be a person of integrity without being trustworthy.
I’ll like to go further on the subject of trust by viewing it from another angle. That is from the angle of relationship between spouses or partners. I equally believe that love has trust has one of its foundation component. It will be very impossible to love someone you don’t trust. The Bible says:
“for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and cling to his wife and both of them shall become one”
Where am I going with this?
I was listening to a program today on one of the local radio stations where the presenter raised the issue of husbands not disclosing their total income to their wives. The presenter throws the conversation open by opening the phone line for his audience to call in. All those who called to contribute to the subject matter base their submission on greed and trust.
All the submissions of those who called in on that program made to conclude that;
Trust is a vital component of any relationship, once it is tampered with, that relationship is sitting on a keg of gun powder waiting to explode.
A man will comfortably not disclose his total income to his wife simply because he does not trust his wife in managing their financial resources. He has the mentality that the wife will begin to make too many financial demands if she knows his financial strength and capacity. A woman will likewise be comfortable not to disclose her income to her husband because she does not trust his financial judgment. When both parties eventually find out the truth, it becomes an irreconcilable issue which can gravitate to affect other aspects of the relationship.
When purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable – Niyi Eboda
I will like to rephrase it this way
When trust is broken, abuse is inevitable.
What is then the way forward?
We need to come to an understanding that it is a privilege to be in a position to be trusted. It takes years of hardwork, dedication and commitment to get to that position. Trust is earned not given. Therefore, it must be guarded jealously hence we lose it for nothing.
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You are right. Nice post there. Forgiveness is a free gift but trust must be earned. Even the Bible tells us to forgive and didn't compel us to trust. The attitude of the forgiven will go a long way to show if their remorseful state is actually geniuine or not.
You are right @olawalium the phrase "forgive and forget" is not necessarily applicable to betrayal of trust.
Thanks for your comment.
Anytime.
I really love this post, but i need to ask you this: is it necessary to disclose your actual income to your wife as a husband?
It depend on the value system in that relationship. If transparency is one of the values between husband and wife, total disclosure of income should not be an issue.
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