We create our own suffering! (Day 18 of 30 of the Happiness Challenge).

         

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A simple story about a wise man

A very long time ago, there lived a man and a woman in a country far away.  The man and woman were expecting their first child.  They loved each other very much, and it was a very long time before the woman fell pregnant. Once the baby was born they could not believe how happy they felt, and they planned to give this child everything that they possibly could afford.  

They wanted to protect this child against all evil, and not expose him to any suffering in his lifetime.  He would only be exposed to all the good things in life, and would never see any misery in his lifetime.  All his heart's desires would be fulfilled. 

Once the baby was a little bit more grown up, the man decided to build a wall around the house, so that the child could not see the outside world. He was not aware of anything outside the walls of the house. 

He was spoiled from morning till night and as planned this child grew up totally unaware of the outside world. He was not aware of poverty, death, or any cruelty of human beings.

So despite all the wealth and luxury, this child grew up with a feeling of meaninglessness. He felt empty.  He grew up to be a somewhat pissed-off person. Nothing anyone ever did for him was quite enough, because to him it did not mean anything.  

This child grew up and each night he would stare out the window and wonder what went on behind the walls of his house.    

The desire to see behind the walls started to consume him and one night when his parents went to sleep, he snuck out the house and climbed over the wall.  

For the first time in his life, he saw human suffering. He saw neglected old people, he saw poverty and he saw some horrible things that he was sheltered from his whole life. He saw just how cruel life could be. 

He went home the next day and he was absolutely devastated. He did not know how to handle any of the situation named above, so he started to blame his father for protecting him from all that he had seen and for giving him a meaningless life. 

Because the boy was never taught to handle any of the situations above, he had no idea how to go forward.  He lived like a king but he knew that there were people out there that had absolutely nothing. The boy decided to run away. His parents were devastated.  

The young man gave up all the money in the world to live as a beggar on the streets, because he thought that if he gave away his prized possessions that he would feel better about himself, and that he would feel happy.  He firmly believed that suffering would give him meaning to life. 

Many years passed, and the boy still lived on the streets. He was searching for the meaning of life. A few more years passed, and then absolutely nothing happened. The boy finally realized that suffering actually sucks and that it doesn't matter if you were rich or poor the suffering would be exactly the same. 

He went home and was embraced by his elderly parents. He cleaned himself up and started to help his parents, because they needed him now. He soon realized that life in general is full of suffering. Rich people suffer because they don't have meaning in their lives, and poor people suffer because they have the desire to be rich. 

Are we ever truly happy?

We all have problems. We all encounter some type of problem every single day of our lives, doesn't matter how small it is. What we don't realize, is that problems keep us alive and thinking. To think about how to solve our problems, our brains become alive, and when we solve a problem, happiness comes along. 

Solving problems = happiness

Think about this..... we actually create most of our own problems. Yes, most of the problems we have in life is because we create them ourselves, and a problem is only a real problem if there is a solution. If you can find a solution then that problem goes away.  

If there is no solution then it was not a problem in the first place. We create our problems because our subconscious minds need some excitement to keep us going.  

Does this make sense?  

Happiness is a work in progress. To solve our problems is a constant work in progress.  Happiness is not given to anyone on a plate.  We need to constantly work to be happy.  Many people are in complete denial and can't admit that they have problems in the first place. They are distracted from reality. They  feel "happy" in the short term, but because they refuse to believe that they have problems, they get depressed and start to feel insecure.   

Then there are people who play the victim. They have so many  problems and they don't believe that there are any solutions. Problems are just ignored and they carry on with life as if nothing is wrong. They try and bury these problems and make it go away on it's own.  BUT real problems ALWAYS come back to bite you in the BUTT!   

Conclusion:  

Sort out your shit while you still can.  Happiness and peace only exists, if you solve all the issues in your life.We all strive towards happiness, and there is no way that we can be happy if there are any obstacles in our way.  

Don't believe all these self -help books where they tell us to stand in front of a mirror and to tell ourselves to be happy. You can't be happy if you have unresolved issues.  Solve the issues right in front of you and THEN you will start to feel happier. 

Even if it is only for a short time, because guess what, MORE problems will appear..... Don't be like that little boy in the story above. Be aware of what is around you and start to work through all your issues one by one, and ultimately you will find happiness..... until the next problem appears...