I was unhappy today because I am not making money doing what it is I choose to do.
I experienced so much anger today while driving to Boston to drive for Uber and Lyft. I tried to breathe and let go of it but it wasn't just thoughts but also emotions of deep seated anger welling up in me. I ended up just driving back home and got in my PJs and meditated for an hour and then I listened to a Youtube video Brenda (Soulsistashakti) posted today.
https://steemit.com/buddhism-nondualism/@soulsistashakti/beyond-self-awareness-to-pure-awareness
It's a video of Peter Fenner of Radiant Mind, a former buddhist monk and he talked about using words to use as pointers to the Mind (and dare I say of the heart also) experiences we would like to have such as "resting in awareness." Also, openness; spaciousness.
Any time I feel burdened because I don't like my life the way it is in this moment I can tell myself "I don't need to feel this burden right now. I can be free from this feeling of burden."
It's freeing to be nobody going nowhere with nothing to do or think about...
It's ok to not have any needs in this moment. That is how we find true fulfillment.
Realize, I don't need anything more than what I already have...if I had more I wouldn't be able to do anything with it.
Rest in the calling that I have to drive for Uber and Lyft right now...for now!
Stop struggling for things to be different than what they are right now.
My thought: we can do work that might produce some outcome in a future state that is different than how things are now BUT be content with how things are now just the same.
I feel better now and realize also that I skipped my meditation time this morning because I was up late last night and made an appointment for my car so to get 6 hours of sleep I was forced to get up and get coffee and get to the appointment. Lesson learned? For now on, don't make appointments for any times that forces me to skip my meditation time or get to bed earlier.
I did get something done for my guitar lessons business tonight. I finished creating an email for one of my free video lessons for my email subscribers!
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