Just finished reading the book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK" by Mark Manson and boy do I feel lighter! As though some weights have been taken off my shoulders.
I used to worry a lot about small things like what if I don't get a job that I love, what if I don't become as successful as I want to, what will people think etc etc. I used to try to make as less mistakes as possible thinking that it was foolish to do so, which ended up in me not learning the lessons that comes with the mistakes.
I was not being true to myself. Not listening to my intuitions and because of that, the intuition started getting weaker and weaker. Those actions only used to make me feel confined.
Most of us go through that learning phase in life where we are complete noobs.
Reading books opens you up little by little and changes your perspective on everything!
I enjoyed reading this book and would like to share with you some things I learned:
Be honest with yourself:
Be completely honest with yourself. Talk about best parts of you and at the same time don't hesitate to talk about the things you suck at, or something stupid you did, or anything bad. Share your failings without hesitation or doubt. Embrace your positives and negatives, that will empower you.
Fixating on what you lack:
The normal self help stuff you see everyday fixates on what you lack, what you perceive your shortcomings to be and emphasizes them for you. For eg., You read "How to be happy" articles or books because you feel you aren't happy already.
This fixation on the being happy only serves to remind us of what we are not and tends to have opposite effect of what it claims to have.
Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent:
Indifferent people act as if they don't care about anything, as if nothing matters and try not to let anyone get close to them because of their insecurity about themselves. Truth is there is no such thing as not giving a fuck. Everyone has to give a fuck about something or the other. If they don't they're just distracting themselves from life.
To not give a fuck about trivial stuff, you must give a fuck about something more important:
If you give a fuck about missing a 50% discount offer, who liked your boyfriend's profile picture on social media, or something trivial like that, chances are you don't have much going on in your lives. When you have some greater things going on, you won't care about these little things that don't matter anyway.
You are always choosing what you give a fuck about:
When you are born and as a kid, you give a lot of fucks about every little things. As you grow older, yo ustart giving lesser and lesser fucks about things which happens with experience. You become more selective about the fucks you're willing to give and it's called maturity.
We are wired to be dissatisfied with everything in life:
Suffering is biologically useful because a dissatisfied and insecure creature does the most work to innovate and survive. Hence, we are wired to be dissatisfied with everything in life and satisfied with what we don't have that helps our species survive.
Happiness comes from solving problems:
Problems are a part of life and you can never eliminate them completely. When you solve one problem, you create another 2 problems. That's how it works. You feel satisfied for a moment when you complete solving a problem and then you need to solve another problem to feel happy for another few moments. So, instead of complaining about our problems, it's better if we embrace them and solve them one by one and never avoid them.
Emotions:
Emotions are signposts that tell us if something is right or wrong for us. If you feel bad, it means something is wrong for you. Find out what it is and solve it. Apart from signposts they don't mean anything. Trust your emotions for they are a call to action.
Entitlement:
Most millenials feel that they are entitled to everything in life. We feel like we have the right to something without having to work for it. This happens because of the system we are brought up in. We have participation certificates which are given to everyone who don't even win just to make them happy. This is what is making people entitled to something even if they don't deserve it or haven't worked for it. Entitlement is a bad thing and it's better to get rid of it as soon as possible.
Shitty values that people prioritize:
Pleasure:
People usually tend to focus on getting pleasure. This is usually short term and people who focus on it end up being anxious and emotionally unstable.
Material Success:
This is something that I used to focus on a lot. Many measure their self worth based on material success. Once the basic needs of humans are met, there is no much happiness to be gained by having worldly success.
Always being right:
People who base their self worth on being right all the time never learn anything new.
Staying positive all the time:
Sometimes life sucks and it's healthy to admit it. People who forcefully try to stay and show that their life is good all the time go through emotional dysfunction. Accept and express your negative emotions in a healthy manner.
Taking responsibility for your problems:
Whatever happens in your life, whether you are responsible for it or not; Take the responsibility. There is a lot to be learned by taking responsibility and solving the issues.
Growth is an iterative process:
When we learn something new, we don't go from wrong to right. Rather from wrong to slightly less wrong and then lesser wrong and so on as we learn more and more.
When you feel like nothing is happening:
Don't just sit there, take the action. Do something and the answers will follow. Action isn't just the effect of motivation, it is also the cause of it. So, if you don't feel motivated, just take the first step and you'll get the motivation. Just like how being happy makes you laugh and laughing makes you happy!
Say No:
Set healthy boundaries. You don't have to take the other person's responsibilities because of obligation. Do it only if you are interested or are willing to do.
In the end the author says:
"Confronting the reality of our own mortality is important because it obliterates all the crappy, fragile, superficial values in life.
(with an example of him sitting at the edge of the cliff to confront death.)
Overall, the book was okay.
The author mostly shared the experiences from his life.
Cheers!
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Here are some of my posts that might interest you:
- The Big Ride has Started: Ride De India 2017 | Day 1: Mangalore to Murudeshwar
- Ride De India 2017 | Day 2: Murudeshwar to Pune
- Ride De India 2017 | Day 3: MALSHEJ GHAT
- Ride De India 2017 | Day 4: Meetup with PowerDrift | Pune to Mumbai
- Ride De India 2017 | Day 5: A Day Off in Mumbai
- Ride De India 2017 | Day 6: ROYAL ENFIELD BREAKS DOWN when we enter Gujarat!
- Why I was out of Steemit for two months!
- Ride De India 2017 | Day 7: Vadodara to Ahmedabad | Exploring Ahmedabad
- Ride De India 2017 | Day 8: Gujarat to Rajasthan
I loved reading the book too and it has taught me life's lessons
Great! :D
Every part good but best is for problems.
You solve one and in result you get two more.
People things that this is wrong but they don't know this is the only way to live life.
If we don't face problem then it's hard to spend whole life. So learn and teach others.
What the fuck! fuck is here used to fuck readers mind in a fucking incredible way! :D anyways its fucking great article :P
Got mindfucked in an incredible way? :P
I love how Mark writes
Yeah! His modern style of writing makes it an easy and interesting read.
Good Post.
Thank you for enabling the visually impaired users to read this article @tts!