Since the time of Aristotle, happiness was considered the most complicated emotion to define. It's insultingly easy to make someone sad, and defining that emotion is just as easy. But it is not the same with happiness. Since it is experienced differently in each person and the way to reach it can be different, it becomes almost a mystical emotion. The sociologist tells you that happiness is the well-being that the society around you gives you. The neuroscientist will tell you that it is a chemical process, a mixture of serotonin, dopamine, endorphin and oxytocin that you get from a good diet, sport, affection. The philosopher... well, he'll tell you a million things. Aristotle will tell you that it is self-realization. Hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure. Other more modern ones say that happiness is a conscious decision, trying to explain that this is the reason why even chasing it like crazy, you can never find it, essentially because you do not allow it, perhaps by having a concept of happiness that does not fit with your personality. And although it seems like the typical 'Just be happy bro', the attitude is also one more element. Being honest with our expectations, not placing them at an unattainable point just to serve as a justification for our unhappiness. And it is more common than you think; looking for a job that never suits us, having a ridiculously long list of what the ideal partner should look like, wanting to have a good physique but not wanting to exercise. Mental traps in which it is very easy to fall. That is, our concepts change like night and day when it comes to explaining how to achieve happiness, which is why everyone fails when they try to create the perfect recipe. It is even paradoxical, the more time you invest in consciously pursuing a state of sustained happiness, the more perceptive you are with your emotions, you put aside living in the moment to analyze it more, more focused on how you should feel than how you feel.
When they do studies to measure which countries are happier, they measure income, freedom, trust, healthy life expectancy, social support, generosity. Of course, without the minimum goods, happiness will be far away, but it only makes sense when you go to the extreme; if the country in question is at war or suffers more hunger than sorrow. But what about the others? When you eliminate those extremes, you see that well-being is far from being synonymous with happiness. Otherwise you would not find Japan being one of the largest economies and with the highest social security in the world, far behind in terms of happiness, unlike Spain, Italy, Uruguay, Chile, Colombia, Argentina. Similarly, it will come as a surprise to many to discover that the United States and Mexico are not that far apart on that chart. These studies serve to verify that Abraham Maslow's pyramid of needs works. This pyramid explains how all needs at different levels are connected to happiness. First would be the basics; food, good rest, not being cold. Later, it would be the well-being that society gives you; a job, a house, security, health care. From there, we move on to friends and couples. then comes that you feel part of a society and feel valued. And finally on top, self-realization. It's a pyramid because if you don't meet the basic ones you can't even think about the complex ones. Simply put, if you haven't eaten anything for two days, thinking about others respecting you is... trivial. _Your happiness is not my happiness. It all depends on what position you are on that table and how long you are there. For example, suppose you are at the top and your goal is to win a lot of money, if you win it all at once it will make you happy for a moment, but as time goes by you will gradually get used to that new state, remember that it is not a sustained emotion. You will begin to give importance to other things, you will return to normalize your new status and start again. What is it that will make me happy? A house in New York? A son? Write a book? You can do the same at all levels, not just the highest. Happiness always moves one step ahead because you have to give it value. If work and home is normal for you, it is also normal that this does not give you any joy; taken for granted. From there was born "You do not give it value, until you lose it".
It is true, you may be pursuing a model of happiness that was never intended for human beings because of the facilities of the modern world. Some time ago I saw a TED talk, I wish I remembered which one, which said a curiosity, I hope I don't remember it all wrong. A tribe of indigenous people did not understand what physical exercise meant without a purpose, that is, lifting weights, running on a track, jumping. For them, exercise is part of life, integrated in such a way that it is not sought, it is obtained by doing daily activities. Do you understand where I'm going? Exercise is a good way to release dopamine, one of the chemicals you should release in order to feel happy. But, the smart one works efficiently, not hard, mhm... Too literal sometimes. Our day to day is so relaxed, so comfortable and practical that in many cases, except for some jobs, exercise is not necessary at all. The bad thing is that society has evolved much faster than our brains. For practical and productivity reasons, we gradually eliminated the physical exercise that resulted from manual work. More efficient, but chemically less rewarding. It has been distorted by having become an option. Believing that motivation is needed to exercise, when in reality exercise gives you motivation.
Waiting to be better, to do things that will make you feel better. The eternal dilemma.
