Life wants to kill you, before it rewards you. I have been to the lowest a person can get, i have been to hospital with blood not clotting due to the mass OD on pain killers intended to end it all....and it should have.

Some 20 years later, i never knew i would be in the place i am now, its like living in a new whole world, one thing after my really bad choice to "end it all" i vowed never to go back to such depths of despair and after leaving hospital, what could be described as a near death experience, i had some kind of strange new vigor, then lots of other bad things happened in my life, i lost the closet person in the world to me and once again i made another vowed as my Mum lay dying in the hospital bed.... to make her proud.

So roll forward to today and i do not quite understand how i got to the amazing, happy, place i am now, all i do know, is that i never gave in after that near fatal choice i made.

All i can say to you Kyle, is keep battling, you have to keep on battling on in life and one day things will swing back in your favour for good and i hope one day you can look back on your post and my post and think how true my words are.

You can do it, you can get past all these bad day and if you try your best and always keep the faith of believing one day, things will be amazing, you will be rewarded.

PS: the best thing i ever done was NOT to take anti-depressants, they are total BS. Keep clean dont take any crap the doctor gives you, just so they can get a nice % cut on all the drugs they push at people!

Make sure to post to me in 10-20 years from now. :O)