It’s hard, isn’t it? Life? Been having a go at it for a solid 32 years and all I have learned so far is how extremely full of shit I am. You’ll have to excuse me, I am suffering from early onset who gives a fuck? I am pretty sure you are only entitled to such an attitude after having gone through some or other calamity, but fuck it. I want it. I’m having it.
Now, how did I get here? Fuck knows. I am sure if we go deep enough we can go all the way back to my teens and my love for overreaching and underachieving. But I don’t know, I have been wrong about other things. More recently, however, it was the thought of grandeur and the act of arrogance that got the old grey matter up and running again.
And, my goodness, has...it...been...running. Stronger than ever. The fucker just won’t shut up to be honest. And, unfortunately, the bastard is stuck in my skull so I get to listen all day long. I am, like, so happy!
But then I thought, hey, fuck that shit. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for me to listen on my own. You bastards can join in! Share in my fucking joy, won’t you? And I don’t even want your upvotes. This bullshit doesn’t deserve it and fuck you if you do. Really. Fuck you.
But yeah, here I am. Or rather, here is the bullshit in my head. I am but only conveying the message. I just need to get it out, have someone else listen for a bit while I go take a nap. I promise I won’t make you listen often or any other adverb of frequency. Just, you know, when I need you to.
Let the me inside chip away at you for a bit while I mend the bits he chipped away from me. No pressure, though. Think about it, make a pros and cons list, and get back to me. This is all I am asking.
I don’t want your pity, compassion, or love. I just want your empathy. For how long I cannot tell you. But I tend to be very needy so it might be awhile. Otherwise, until I am done?
But yeah, go spend some time with your own brain and see if you have space for another. Talk soon.
P.S. Chester Bennington, what a fucking legend. The end.
Breathe in. Focus on your breathing. Notice distractions, without indulging in those thoughts, as you refocus on your breathing. Repeat.