THE FACE OF DECEIT: SOCIAL NICETIES

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I'm writing this post after a comment I just made which might get me flagged (you guys might have to come bail me out of this one) for simply trying not to water down the truth or facts as they appear. Be rest assured I said what I had to without malice, but I cannot just stand and watch someone sugar-coat the truth, not on this platform that gives each and every one of us the opportunity to express our views without fear.

This had me thinking about how we engage on day to day basis with people. The mask we wear or the lie we have to tell so we don't offend, especially those who have the power to punish us. During my presentation yesterday my lecturer made jest of me. Probably, in a more sane society he would have had a lawsuit slammed in his face the next day, but here anything goes which is sad because the average person feels defenceless against the devices of the powerful individual who do not need to think twice to flex their muscles.

Many people have complained about unwarranted flagging from other people who do not agree with their opinion(s). So to avid this, some put up a front, try to maintain the middle ground or over compensate by being extra nice to people who are actually annoying (anything other than this would be rude).

I would love to play the power game, to gain grounds in other to be more assertive and outright with some of my views which are controversial in some ways. However, sometimes I just can't hold back, especially when it comes to things like black oppression. No, no, no, it gets under my skin, especially when people try to trivialise it. Some of its effects are still prevalent in this part of the world and it pains me to see anyone try to paint a contrary picture of the hardship my race has had to face--still face, on a day to day basis.

It's not a question of name calling. I'm not going to label every white person as racist--that's just ridiculous , or try to play the guilt card. No, it serves no purpose. But I can not have a discussion about racism or apartheid and mince my words to the point where I can't even believe myself. Yes, it reflects badly on a certain race but I believe every one has a chance or choice to make things better.

I have drifted a little but let me get back to my point. Social niceties, should one distort the truth in other not to offend? If you're fat and I say you're fat, am I breaking any rule? Would you rather have me say you look great to stroke your ego? What is acceptable when it comes to saying things that people would not like?

It difficult being one's self in this time and age where almost everyone has an agenda. It's difficult to have honest conversations without the other party feeling threatened. In our bid to act civil we've become accustomed to lies. It's one thing respecting people's boundaries and another thing entirely to lie about how you feel, especially when asked, that's suicide--you're killing your own voice and it's only a matter of time before you lose your identity--the one you traded in other to be accepted into a community of bigots and liars(temper tantrums Nonso, calm down).

I think the most disgusting emotion is fear. Sadly I'm a fearful person and I constantly fight to repel the effect of fear in my life, sometimes I lose, sometimes I win. Today was a win for me. I said what I had to and damned the consequence. Everyday should be like this.