We are conditioned to believe that the way the world tells us we should be is what matters, we must conform to the social norms, be the epitome of whatever demographic are naturally part of or we have had forced upon us by others in our indoctrination.
It can be difficult to undo the decades of conditioning on the individuals, and centuries of conditioning on society. However, we can take steps to gravitate to a more congruent and autonomous self, within this understanding we can start to find our way to who we want to be, not who we are told to be :)
In other words, screw everyone else, just do you , cause you are the best version of yourself when "you are you " :)
Much love and copious hugs in your direction :)