Daily Patriot exclusive! Profile of a Steemian...@exyle is now in exile...part 1

We all know that selfies are not a criminal offense.

As far as we aware, drinking coffee (or beer), while taking a selfie, is also not an offence.
Not in Europe, that is.

A Daily Patriot Factoid.
(Some countries do prohibit the drinking of coffee, and the taking of selfies at the same time, and cite ' intentional psychological damage to other coffee drinkers' as the main reason for the legislation against such practices).

So even if you think that people taking selfies holding coffee mugs should be hung drawn and quartered, the law is still the law, and it is still legal in Europe.

This is not the reason @exyle is on the run, though.

But he is on the run, and he's in exile.

The Daily Patriots insipid intrepid reporters have uncovered a chain of events starting in mainland Europe a few days ago, that has shook the UK to it's very core.

The '3' mobile network was taken down, and while the focus is on external sources outside of Europe to find the origins of the attack, we've discovered that it was non other than the Steemian @exyle, that may well have been perpetrator of the event.

An EMP weapon or an Excessive Methane Propulsion weapon, is thought to be the cause.

The chain of events that to put this crisis into motion began the other day, when, for some inexplicable reason, @exyle started 'doing some choir' in the privacy of his own home.
And not only 'doing some choir', but doing it to eighties music.

(official source)
'Doing some house choirs' on your own, is weird enough- but doing it to eighties music?
That's downright bizarre.

Here's an artists impression of how the day in @exyle 's apartment may have looked..one that eventually led to the nationwide blackout in the UK

Top psychologist @Galibi-Staned,(BSC, dyslexia), told The Daily Patriot reporter @lucylin in an exclusive interview:

" It's quite possible that 'doing some choir' to the tunes of Madonna may have caused some severe psychotic break, and the need to 'gas up and fart profusely', is a common next step in these types of episodes."

She went on to say, " In some ways it was quite fortunate - We've had people 'doing some choir' while listening to Ed Sheeran, and believe me you don't want to be around those fruit cakes."
She went on to explain,
" Let's just say that all the Ed Sheeran psychotic breaks that I've know of, have involved personality deletions and a chronic condition known as 'interminable life long boringness'....Some patients of mine never laughed again after such episodes, and could no longer find even double entendre joke, giggle worthy".

She continues, "So, if you think about it, a few farts and a nationwide communications blackout for a day or two, is nothing compared to the life long prognosis of the Ed Sheeran 'doing choir', sufferers."

Dr Galibi-Staned,(BSC, dyslexia,) Will be on national tour soon, to promote the release of her new book
'Don't go on a date with dyslexics - you'll never arrange the right day or time'.

COMING UP!

In part 2,

We talk to the detective inspector leading the hunt, Douwe Egberts:

"After arguing to the cashier at the garage, about no need for plant food, he then drove off in a tractor..."

..And his wife, Bianca, gives her first interview to The Daily Patriot, exclusively, telling us of his breakdown, and strange behavior.

"He told me only few days before that wagons were really crap to live in, and tractors were much better.
He also said he wanted to use his nephew to support some goal post, or something....It was all very strange..."

And lots more weird shit, too!