The Most Dangerous Game

Remember the Richard Connell story called "The Most Dangerous Game"?

You probably read it in middle school. It's about a big game hunter named Rainsford who is shipwrecked on an island with a creepy man called Zaroff. Zaroff is also a hunting enthusiast. He tells Rainsford that he has discovered the most dangerous game of all to hunt, because it has cunning and reason.....yep-Zaroff is hunting human beings who wash up on the shore of his island. He's really excited about hunting a big game hunter. Rainsford is less than enthusiatic about being hunted. But, you know, karma's a bitch

They didn't say karma's a bitch when I was in middle school. I don't know what they say in middle school now.

My teacher explained that the word "game" has two meanings. Obviously, there was "game" as in "prey". But much of the story is about the "game" of men matching wits, going at it hand to hand. The game of fighting to the death. Any game that ends with the death of one of the players is the most dangerous game.

But I think I have discovered a more dangerous game. It's a game where, instead of killing people, you can bring them back to life.

The most dangerous game is.....The Sims Freeplay

Allow me to explain. First of all, if you are unemployed, you have to start playing video games. Otherwise, how would you fit in with the stereotype of the lazy bum, the guy sitting around in his underwear, eating cheetos, playing World of Warcraft or something, oblivious to his spouse yelling at him to get a job?

I started playing The Sims on my phone to distract myself if my boyfriend was watching a movie I didn't like. It's a game where you create little avatars, build houses for them, run a town, keep them healthy and happy....or not...depending on what you're into. Your town is naturally going to be a reflection of your personality.

For instance, rather than having a small town with a few "Sims" in posh houses, Littlebird Town is full of lots of people in very modest homes, everybody is pretty industrious and everybody has a job....That is everybody but the grandmother.

I decided that she was retired, because she had worked hard all her life. Sure, she bakes and does some gardening, but Ida Mae should have a life that's a little more cushy than some of my other Sims. Ida Mae just happened to be the first name that popped into my mind for a grandmother because it was my grandmother's name. It was coincidence that I spent a long time picking out shoes for her, because a lot of older people like my grandmother, have problems with their feet. I gave her a cat named Wilbur, the name of Grandmother's favorite cat. After all, Ida Mae and Wilbur just seemed to go together.

It's no big deal that one of my Sims has a name that is an anagram of the name of my best friend who died when she was 29. She has some minor upgrades in her house too, and her walls are painted pink, which was Anagram's favorite color. She's also dressed in pink from head to toe and I'm really working hard on my quests so I can open the hospital. That way Anagram can have the career that my best friend would have had if she had lived. Oh, and I found the breed of dog that she had in real life, so now her German Shepherd is with her. I paid extra for him, but he was worth it.

Then, there's Elliott Love. I thought about what I was doing by the time I created his avatar. After all, if it's not cool to lie to other people, it's really not cool to lie to yourself. Elliott was my brother's middle name. It was easy to create the features, the facial hair, and even -especially - the unique eye color my brother had. He was my only sibling, he died in 2014 and I miss him very much. Is it wrong that I worked like crazy to get him a career in the field that my father talked him out of? The career I always believed would have made him happy?

The question is...is it dangerous, in some way, me having these little versions of my lost friends and family in my pocket?

Look, I'm not going to mistake a pixelated town for a version of reality. The game reminds you that this is pure fantasy. For example, a wizard is roaming around town. There are "experimental seeds" that sometimes turn into "something else".... Incidentally, if you get lettuce that turns into a Sim-Eating plant the only option is "negotiate". That involves 3 minutes of hand to hand combat between the Sim and the plant after which Sim is restored unharmed.

Yesterday, Ida Mae was petting her cat. It was cool and all, and I was looking around for something to make her more comfortable and happy. I created a very suave looking boyfriend for her. I hope Grandfather's not mad.

Grandfather had no unfinished business when he died. There's no need for a Milton in Littlebird Town.

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Last night I had a dream about my old history teacher, Mr. Wagner. I hadn't thought of him in years. In this dream I could clearly see his face. I was reliving the moment when he, deadpan, told me I was getting a D in his class thinking that I, his best student, would get the joke. I didn't. I damn near had heart attack in the seventh grade. In the dream I could see the fabric of the "room dividers" they had up, and the garish yellow of the walls. If I wanted to, I could have read the posters and I'm sure they would have been accurate to the time.

All of these things are stored in my memory. Humans really don't forget anything. If I want to, I can recall the exact way that my best friend's hair curled. I can see the way my grandmother raised her eyebrows in a kind of wordless greeting. I can still hear my brother's voice. I can hear it most clearly when his son speaks. And my nephew is here with us now. I can visit him any time I like.

As long as I am not too distracted by a video game.