Why I Don’t Like Papa Pepper!

On what planet does a guy like @papa-pepper make more per post than me? I am twice the writer he will ever be.

It’s literally been three days since I joined Steemit and this guy is taking all my hard earned rewards. Yeah, I could throw pictures of me and my wife on here too, for a chance to get the big bucks, but we’re too ugly. So I have to let my writing speak for itself.

Sure Papa Pepper might seem like a fun guy to have beer with, but I can tell deep down he’s a creep!

Seriously, if he handed you a glass of water, would you drink it?

Oh, God no!

To be honest, I wouldn’t even want to handle the cup. Papa Pepper reminds me of that guy in the bar that stole my first wife and then called me a year later, just after I was remarried, to tell me which truck stop he dropped her off at.

The Papa Peppers of this world are always out to get you, I had to spend two years living as a bigamist because of guys like him. Can you imagine living in a cramped trailer with a gang of women, armed with broken beer bottles who constantly complained that I needed to demand more overtime?

But even that doesn’t compare to this.

Over the last three days I have been repeatedly threatened, trolled, snubbed and even flagged over jealousy, but very few of you could get over your insecurities to actually vote me. Did Papa Pepper raise a hand to help me?

No!

Why is genius only recognized after someone is gone and why can’t mediocre people like Papa Pepper experience this pain?

This sucks!

Why am I constantly getting snubbed and why is Papa Pepper’s wife so damn handsome, my wife is suffering from lock jaw, how is that fair?

It is always one thing after another, first my toilet seat breaks, so I come to steemit to make enough to repair it, but then my lazy wife decided she can’t squat over the rusty coffee can anymore. After a few hours of sitting on rust she comes down with the scariest looking lock jaw I have ever seen. It’s like having a growling demon in the kitchen that is constantly slapping me while blending soup.

Ugh…

I’m writing my heart out here people! There is no reason to be jealous of me! Imagine, if you had my talent, it would be you be going through this abuse.

So instead of flagging, just do the right thing!

Vote this post!

-Papa Pepper

https://steemit.com/blog/@legendary-writer/why-did-my-intro-only-make-usd4-00-where-are-the-thousands-that-jerry-banfield-promised