This year.. has been different. Same same, but different - focus and energy wise. Sure, me and Dad are still working on Grandma's house, and, honestly, the work that still needs to be put in there is genuinely overwhelming, but keeping a sustainable pace and a continuous forward motion, we hope to do as much as we physically can.
But the house has been just one part of the defining feature of 2024, what separates this from the previous year is the focus on family and picking up some organisational responsibilities.. which has been good for my growth, no doubt, but has been equally as stressful and physically and emotionally taxing.
It might even seem that I'm worse off, when it comes to social stuff, but that's just because I'm attempting to unmask how difficult some of the aspects of socialising actually are for me, especially the 'getting ready to go out' anxiety.. so I end up jokingly grumpily mumbling 'I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to', even if logically I know that I'm going to be fine and most likely will enjoy most if not all aspect of the 'dreaded' social event.
It's sometimes not that simple to explain these things and people just tend to presume that that means that I just hate people, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just struggle with some aspects. With 'getting ready', with planning time, when a lot of things need to be accounted for, especially perishables that can only be handled at the last minute or nearly so.. stuff like that.
So thus, this year has been filled with more anxiety than the previous, but I would have to say that that anxiety was 'invested' towards a positive direction - me learning more about how and what I can or cannot handle in regards to organisational tasks (an aspect of life that I've previously never really needed to engage with as I've always been surrounded with strong-minded people with a knack for.. mm.. let's call it.. organising. As I'm not one for stepping on other people's toes I've let people do their thing which left me with a significant deficit in organisation skills due to lack of practice).
But, since I so much appreciate character growth in others, so I too must grow.. and learn, and evolve, if ever so slowly, but deliberately.
As for what I'm expecting of the next year? Well, still to be the Year of The Arts. I know I said that already last year, and there was SOME progress in that regard. Unfortunately, not nearly enough for my liking. I still have self-concept to work on when it comes to art and creativity so that I can grow out of that pesky fear. And, of course, not just self-concept, but I also actually have to put in the work, the hours, the practice, so that I can convince not only myself, but that I also have a reasonable portfolio to show in case it might get in handy, eventually.
Will have to live and see how 2025 unfolds, but I have some rough ideas of where I'd want to steer that boat.
How about you?
What is something exciting that you're looking forward to in 2025?
~Josie~
