Ponderings of a Teacher: How To Stay Sane

Is something I, too, would like to know the answer to.

I got my degree in education in 2016 and I have now been teaching for almost four years. I've so far found the world of teaching to be a whirlwind of noise, chaos, drama and confusion. If you think what I just described was the class room or the playground, guess again: That was just the staff room.

"But what about the kids", you ask? It's true; I am currently spending the majority of my time being insulted by 3 feet "tall" mini-people, but despite that, I've found that the kids have been the easiest and most enjoyable part of the job to handle so far, even though they sometimes try their damndest not to be.

They're also the ones who you'll hear the harshest truths from; the good and the bad both. They're simultaneously my biggest fans and biggest critics, which I found out the first day I wore glasses at work, and on numerous ego-shattering occasions since.

For an example it didn't take more than one short stroll through the hallway before I found out that, apparently, I look like Harry Potter. Even though I'd say that Daniel Radcliffe is a good looking dude, it was made abundantly clear that I wasn't supposed to mistake the similarity between us as a compliment.

Little shits.

Constantly having every aspect of you weighed and assessed may sound taxing, and at times it is, however it's nothing compared to the judgments that some of your fellow teachers will pass on you.

Surprisingly, most of the bullshit I've experienced so far has revolved around the other adults; parents, colleagues and management. Yes, I realize that at this point you're probably rolling your eyes, thinking "Oh you sweet Summer child".

I know that at this point it would be natural to think "Well, if it smells like shit in every room you enter, maybe you ought to check your own pants, Johnny Boy", which is true. I'd like to emphasize that I've had many great, loving and funny experiences with colleagues, parents and management.

I have some of the most creative, kind and helpful people around me, and if not for them I would not have lasted even one year in this profession.

That said, I do not think I will work as a teacher for the entirety of my life. As a way of chronicling my experiences and thoughts, and in part in order to keep myself sane along the way, I've decided to start putting my observations into writing in form of blog posts. It's my hope that these posts will be a source of entertainment for others, regardless of whether they are teachers or not.

I realize that this can sound to be a bit on the glum side, however that's only intended to sound so in a tragicomic sense. To me, there'd be no joy in writing about my life as a teacher without using self-irony and mockery to paint the picture.

Obviously this tragicomic aspect makes the staff room the perfect point to begin at. (Apparently staff room is in some places called the "teachers' lounge", which makes it sound like it's a place of calm. It absolutely is not.)

You'd be surprised how many teachers there are that are able to spend twenty minutes preaching the importance of being empathetic, kind and open towards each other's differences, to a class, only to then spend their break sitting at the same table they've sat at every day for ten years, with the same people, gossiping about the people at the other tables. Mindboggling, isn't it?

I find this lack of self-awareness in adults as scary as I find it hilarious. Come now, Susan, how can you not realize that the role you're playing in the staff room is the same role as that of the kid you just harangued in class, and is now moaning about to your fellow anthropomorphic tumors?

As Merrill Markoe said, "When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny."

I found that the fun petered out at one point, which made me try to distance myself from them more than I already had. I found that this made them more occupied with me and my doings.

These people will continue to present their preconceived ideas of who you are, and why you do what you do as a conclusion and will fervently agree on it to the point where it becomes their truth.

It is an echo-chamber and an energy-sucking trap. You could waste all of your energy every day by trying to make sure that their idea of you matches the idea that YOU have of you, but this would be walking right into their trap. Even after becoming aware of this, I still sometimes make the mistake of taking their bait.

Honestly, this is a part of the social dynamics of the work space that I find difficult to navigate in. I know that I'm not the topic of their conversation 100% of the time, I am not narcissistic enough to believe that.

The logical question here would be "why even give a fuck about what they think?" which is true, I shouldn't and I don't.

I am merely acknowledging that it can be incredibly taxing to share the same space as such toxicity. It's like having an incessantly gossiping tumor that grows bigger and angrier when you try to ignore it.

Thus I very much nearly implode when I overhear them moan about their students, who are yet again causing tensions in their class room and making their lives unnecessarily difficult:
"Why can't my students behave and be nice to each other? Haven't they learned that if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all? It should be easy!"

Gee, that's another of life's great mysteries, Susan.

I am sure that you don't have to be a teacher to be able to relate, as I'm quite certain that adults behaving like children is, sadly, not exclusive to the teaching profession.

I will conclude this first post here. I hope I made you snort or chuckle, maybe even both, - chortle? - at least once along the way.
Thank you for reading.