Back, but not back at all

Hi, guys!

So one more day since I was discharged from the hospital. Today it was not possible to come to my doctor, who was observed on an outpatient basis, to bring an extract from the hospital and ask her opinion on further treatment. She was somewhat surprised by the appointments of doctors in the hospital, but we talked to him and were able to come to the conclusion of what to do next. I really hope that this new circuit will overwhelm me less and leave me more room to maneuver.

The fact is that some of those drugs that I was prescribed I took before and I had complex side effects. But now I know what to expect so I can prepare for them. We also came to the conclusion that my muscle weakness is caused by lithium and we want to watch for another week at low doses how this will develop before increasing the dosage. In any case, you will have to raise them. In addition, we have nowhere to retreat, we have tried all the other drugs. I was very glad to see my doctor, she is much more attentive than the doctors in the hospital in which I was lying. Maybe it's because she has fewer patients here. Maybe because she sits in a calm, quiet office. The doctors there are very nervous and it is almost impossible to talk to them.

Just a few hours ago, I was trying to explain to my friend why the selection of psychiatric treatment is such a difficult task. This is especially a difficult task when it comes to my diagnosis, manic depressive psychosis. In this case, the person's condition is constantly changing, literally constantly, and it is very difficult to guess the treatment at the right time, but my doctor somehow coped with this for the last 5-6 years and I hope that they will cope further especially. Now that I was taken out of the acute condition.

Now I come to sharpening when I need to get back to work again. Probably it will be difficult to do because I do not have the slightest inspiration to draw and not the slightest desire either. The last time I tried to do this in the hospital, I managed to draw for exactly 4 minutes, after which I was tired and could no longer continue. I hope that now at home this will change and it will be easier for me to work. I said I did not finish my drawing courses last year, which I attended online, but I wrote to the curator and asked to give me access to the lectures. I do not need feedback as much as I need the information itself about it, I can get it without a teacher.

My blog has been looking pretty messy these days. This is because I don’t have the strength to manage it properly, but I promise that it will be over soon. I hope that after this weekend, because I feel that my strength is getting more and therefore I can do more :)

See you in the next post!
Love, Inber