I've also gone through phases where I'd go through everything that happened repeatedly in my mind to see what went wrong. This almost always resulted in blaming myself. Then they'd get back to me and act like nothing happened, and I'd feel relief but also like a huge idiot. I would tell myself not to do it next time, but I would anyway.
Haha! I've been there so many times...replaying things I said, imagining the worst scenario, and then surprise! I just completely overthought everything, causing myself a lot of stress for nothing.
I didn't like being insecure so I decided to change it. I can't exactly explain how, but it felt a lot like just letting myself be. Like being loving is something I've always known how to do, and the only thing keeping me from it was myself.
💗
You and me both...