Hi all. I’m currently a senior at my university and, as of one week ago, building out a business idea full time. I'd like to preface this blog with a notion that is so commonly overlooked: if you want to be good at something, you have to put time into it. The circumstances that we find ourselves in can often cloud our understanding of that concept.
My situation, and I'll be as transparent as possible, involves me being romantically involved with several girls at my university, although not committed to or technically cheating on any. Taking it for what it is, this dynamic has been a massive source of both elation and stress; with a good portion of that trade-off being stress.
Adding to the mix, I'm also a possessive person. I believe (or used to believe) that I needed to keep all of these girls happy so that they would stay exclusive to me (so bad). I would get so caught up in the idea of being possessive with these girls and any jealousy that came along the way would seriously upset me. As it played out, my system of keeping up multiple relationships actually worked for quite some time. For about 2 years I was able to sustain this sad and dependent way of living.
However, over the past week or so, I started to realize just how much time was going towards upholding these relationships; roughly about 60%. I got very good at keeping multiple girls happy..? That’s not what I want to be good at. Plus, from a different angle, it’s a terrible way to treat the ladies. But we live and we learn.
Now, as I’m sure anybody who has built out an idea/business in the past is aware, it requires SO MUCH TIME; all of your time actually. As a result, my situation now involves working 14 hours a day to build out this the idea. Simultaneously, I’m still in the loop for the same BS with these girls. It seems like a setup for the same routine we had going into 2018 and it must come to a stop.
Tonight one of these ladies, who will remain anonymous of course, tells me she is going out to the bars. She will be going with her roommate and friends that I’ve never met. Normally this would trigger my jealousy hard. Although it still kind of does, that's no longer where I want to waste my focus. I also no longer want the sustainment of that relationship to be an area of stress for me.
I have come to terms with the fact that these girls will find someone else. That was by far the most difficult part of the process. Is this going to matter a year from now? No. This probably won’t even matter a month from now to be honest. I hope it's reassuring to someone out there that, after going through the shitty emotions associated with letting go, there was a genuine sense of satisfaction and relief.
Individuals need to focus on themselves. I will be trying my absolute best to retain focus on my journey and let those innocent girls focus on theirs as well.
So here's the advice from what many of you might just consider an unjustified ass at this point: Really look into how you are spending your time. Are the things that take up your time truly the things that you care for or want to master?
Sometimes it can be hard to let go but one thing is for certain; if you take the leap of faith and follow what you’re passionate about, everything else will fall into place. Life is just more worth-while that way.
Please comment below and let me know if you can relate on any level. For anybody that needs it: I wish you success on your journey to make the changes that will bring you fulfillment.