Life so far.

Pain Tolerable Pain,

The words I can describe my condition right now although I could be overreacting and I'm just ranting. Presently and with each passing day, the pain had lessened and becomes manageable.

It has been more than a month since It started, It started with me riding a stationary bike and all of a sudden I heard something cracked internally.

The next day I felt a slight discomfort on the leg when walking but otherwise fine, little do I know that It would get worse.

On the second day the discomfort had elevated to into pain, I took a Ibuprofen which was leftover from past fractures and thought about what happened that led to this. I could still move all the joints, Pain when applying weight, and Throbbing pain, at first I thought maybe this is Arthritis for it is entirely possible after all.

On the third day I woke up with a numb, painful and accompanied with throbbing pain on my left hip, "This is not arthritis." I thought to myself. At this point I remembered the internal crack I felt and thought "Another fracture and on the hip?"

Of course I am no doctor so it's entirely possible not to be it, But I had Stress Fractures every other month here and there for I am quite fat after all.

It just kinda sucks that I am trying to lose weight only to get injured by doing it, HAHAHA, That's okay.

At this point I had to plan what happens next, I recharge my mobile wallet for buying food online, went to the nearest Drug Store and bought a dozen of Ibuprofen.

I take care of my mother as her main caregiver (She had a stroke which left half her paralyzed until now), I bought Diapers, Wipes and Alcohol.

Now for activities, well I definitely need to take care of my mother's well being so that includes replacing diapers, cleaning and feeding, I also need to occasionally visit the Drug store for supplies.

On the fourth day. HOLY FUCK. pain has taken over.

for reference let's use this pain scale:

MissLunaRose12, wikimedia.org

The pain I experience starting that day was at Pain Level 7, reduced to 6 when taking in Ibuprofen. Every time after doing a task that requires me to stand up ends up me in a state where I lie on the sofa with a leg that can be visually seen throbbing. very painful. At this point it has become apparent that this is Injury induced Sciatica.

Lying on the bed is a very bad idea even more so if it's a flat bed, It just makes it worse. The sofa helps as a.) it's not flat, b.) I can lean my injured leg on the backrest of the sofa, thereby alleviating stress on my swelling hip. and c.) I can lay my leg on the top of the backrest of the sofa elevating it to reduce the amount of blood on the leg.

So what happens is: I do a task, go to the sofa, wait for the throbbing pain to subside, stay there. The sofa became my happy place.

At night, I had no choice but to return to sleep at the flat bed. IT IS HELL. sleepless nights. I even retreat to the sofa every hour or so.

This went on for 4-5 weeks? there are even times when I don't sit on the sofa or the bed out of fear of feeling pain, where your mind just tell you "DON'T MOVE."

I mean even now I still do this but the pain has been significantly reduced to the point that I can now sit at my computer and be able move around with mild pain.

So, have I done anything productive? well I watched shows when I could, played homeworld mobile on the phone, made a lot of scribbling in Ibis Paint, basically nothing worth mentioning. Lol. but most of the time I stare at the ceiling or doom scroll reels of reels of social media, I think about the pain all the time and the pain made its presence known all of the time.

I expect this suffering to end in maybe a week or so, maybe two. I am currently experiencing pain levels of 3 to 5.

But yeah, this is definitely an experience I want my enemies to have, It's just that bad.

I didn't take an advice from a friend to have it checked by a doctor, The reason is even If we did know what it is, The most likely course of action that the doctor would tell me is to rest. Which I can't really comply due to responsibilities. At best, It would give me access to prescription medicine.

I probably healed slower than optimal due to doing tasks everyday but I am healing.

What I hate the most in this ordeal is that.. You can't sneeze, The nerve pain always stops you, You also can't enjoy yawning. Now I could, pretty happy about that. The ordeal also made me think that A person can support at most, two people that can't take care of themselves fulltime. The best scenario is having two people support a person who is disabled for both of them have complete lives.

Will I use the stationary bike again? Yes, Will this shit happen again? LAWL I HOPE NOT!

This is the end, If you are reading this. Thanks. You are handsome and beautiful. 😘