So, I've been inactive for a couple of weeks and it's not looking like I'm going to be active any time soon. Except for this post of course...
Long story short, my dad just died, very suddenly. Tuesday-night my brother went home and he found my dad laying dead on the sofa. He immediately called me and I drove there, contemplating whether I should cross the red lights. I was in panic to be honest, while I was driving there, I was still hoping there was some mistake, that he might not actually be dead..
Yeah no, that wasn't the case, when I arrived, I saw him sitting in the sofa as usual, but he didn't move and he was cold as ice. I can't even start to explain the emotions that went through me when I finally realized that indeed, my dad was dead.
You have to take into account that my mom died 10 years ago, I'm only 29 years old and my brother's only 25 years old. Far too young to deal with all this SHIT! Honestly, I was contemplating putting a bullet between my ears for just a second, I really didn't want to deal with this and I also thought that it would be better if I'd just disappear from the world. No worries though, that was just an initial response...
In the end me and my brother managed to get everything in order and emotionally we're both okay. It feels good to write about it, but on the other hand it also feels weird to be completely alone in the world, idk if you would understand that???
Wow sad story. I’m the same age and I can’t even begin to imagine those things happening to me. Glad you are okay.
I am sorry for your loss, it is hard to lose a parents especially in my case, it haunts me night and day if it would happen and I outlive them.
Keep it strong inside @daan
Yeah, it's not easy indeed. Thanks for leaving this nice comment!
So sorry to hear this man. Thoughts are with you and your brother at this time.
Thank you so much for the nice message.
Man, this is really rough. My condolences. All the best to you and your brother in these times.
Yeah it's a bit of a struggle at the moment. Thanks for the kind message!
Bedankt voor je bericht!
I understand that feeling. I lost my dad and my mum within three months of each other this year. It's fucking rough. And the thoughts that go on in your head are heavy and wearing. It gets better but it's not easy. Hang in there
Wow, that's incredibly heavy to deal with too. I know you're probably a bit older than me, but when you lose your parents, that doesn't really matter.
My condolences for you as well.
Woow, innige deelneming. Veel sterkte in de komende periode!
Bedankt!
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Some people say that is only an illusion that you weren't always alone in this world.
i would suggest getting on steemit every day and write about what you are feeling. Just make up some title, and put a number after it. Like "My dad's dead :*( #01" Blogging about your emotional hurt is a good way to process it.
Now, the truth is, all of your loved ones always have a piece of themselves with you throughout all of your life. Being the huge, multi-dimensional energy beings we are, you would never leave someone you loved alone. They are all there, around you, all the time. Just no physical hugs. sigh.
Writing about it wouldn't be a bad idea, but I would personally not like to publish it since it's really personal. I had written this post, because it's a good idea to have his obituary on the blockchain, to last eternally you know... And it always helps to get read some nice comments in times like these.
Thanks!
Wow. Gecondoleerd. Ik ben slechts drie jaar ouder dan jij en kan me op geen enkele manier indenken hoe het zou zijn om nu al ‘alleen’ te zijn. Immens verdrietig. Sterkte. Woorden schieten letterlijk tekort.
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Ja, 't kan snel gaan... Dacht zelf ook niet dat ik dit zou meemaken, toch nu nog niet...
Bedankt voor de lieve woorden, doet me echt wel iets om alle reacties te lezen!
<3 Dat snap ik. Echt heftig. Neem (heel veel) tijd om stil te staan bij wat er allemaal is gebeurd. Rouw is een groot en lang proces, en volgens sommigen gaat rouw zelfs nooit helemaal over omdat je die persoon altijd meedraagt en altijd op een bepaald niveau zult missen. Ik denk dat we in het (niet-/minder religieuze) Westen niet heel goede rituelen/manieren hebben om met rouw om te gaan, dus hoop dat je hier zelf manieren voor vindt. (Brief schrijven, alleen of samen met andere familie naar een plek die betekenis voor jou/hem heeft...). Nogmaals sterkte.
So sorry for this great loss. Be consoled.
God says he will be father to the fatherless, so be sure he will do it, be sure he will take good care if you and your Brother.
But here is my humble advice to you, nothing in this life should make you decide to take your life away, it doesn't worth it.
When ever in trouble run to God he is ever ready yo help, he is the great comforter.
Stay bless.
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Thank you for the kind words!
ik zou het denk ik wel ergens begrijpen inderdaad. het idee van geen ouders te hebben en ineens je steun in de wereld niet meer te hebben....dat idee is raar...ik snap je voor zover ik dat kan.
super veel steun gewenst Daan in alles wat op jullie afkomt hier ineens in deze dagen. Er vergeet niet om hulp te vragen uit welke hoek dan ook he! Sterkte!
Bedankt Karin. Het is echt wel een raar gevoel, maar gelukkig hebben we nog wel veel familie achter ons staan. We raken hier wel door, sowieso...
My condolences bro, may his soul rest inpeace. I wish you strength to go through this.
Thanks man, really appreciate it.
Ack, sorry to hear this @daan. I know the feeling, my dad died in 2000. It's the only time I have seen a dead person and that cold feeling... I remember only too well.
His was sudden same as yours, it's better than a long drawn out death but that's no consolation.
Yeah, in a way it's better like this. He was suffering from COPD and the alternative was spending months in a hospital and slowly deteriorating. I've kinda made peace with the situation, my brother's a bit more in shock still.
That's horrible! I am sorry to hear that. I was just at the funeral home last night visiting some childhood friends that just lost their mother. There are really no words I can say that I feel are appropriate. If you need anything please let me know. Reach out to me via Discord.
Thanks for the kind words @bozz! I know I can always count on you to help with anything. Yeah, it's difficult to say anything about it, but I'm glad that he didn't seem to have suffered at least. It's something...
Sorry to hear that @daan. Loss is never easy and while you will always feel it. At least you know that he had a big part in your life and that you continue to show his legacy as you grow older. The best thing you can do is to live a life he would be proud of and stick close to your brother in these tough times.
Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam.
That's exactly what me and my brother will try to do, we'll stick together in these rough times for sure. Thank you for leaving a very helpful and supportive comment, appreciate it very much!
My condolences.
Dear @daan
I only had a chance to read your post right now. i'm very sorry for your lose. I know how painful it is to lose your own father.
have you two been close together?
Yours
Piotr
This is really sad to hear Daan. My condolences m8.
I never knew my dad, but I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mum. She was recently diagnosed with a large lump on her lung, which was found to be cancer so I was preparing myself for the worst... but she was extremely lucky to be diagnosed in 1% of people with a rare (treatable) genetic mutation called ROS1.
It all reminded me how little control we really have in this existence. I hope you're barring up ok. I lost both my grandparents a few years ago within months of each other so I understand how numbing it can be to lose family so abruptly.
My heart goes out to you.
The most sad thing when someone passes away are the people that they left behind, it's never going to be easy to move on especially of the person meant so much to you.
When my grandpa passed away it felt like the end of the world for me, I saw his casket being lowered into grave and I thought of jumping there, I was only 10 years old at that time but I still get teary-eyed up to now whenever I remember him.
Honestly, I can't say I understand what you're going through because it's different with everyone but I do know the feeling missing that person and knowing that you'll never be able to see him again because it is just impossible, and that's the most painful part.
You're not alone, you still have family- you have you're brother, treasure every moment whenever you're together.
My deepest condolences and I hope time will help to ease the pain.
Xo,
Gil