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So I have 3 children, age 10, 4, and a 20-week old baby boy. and on a number of occasions, I get asked by other parents how I have created such well-behaved kids. Now I am not saying that they are perfect as they do have their moments like every child but We get complimented on how well they behave them selves.
So 11 years ago we found out that my wife, who was my girl friend at the time was pregnant, there was a lot of things running through my head at the time like how am i going to be a dad, what happens if this happens and what happens if that happens, At the time I was young only 24 and all I was bothered about was going out and getting drunk enjoying life and seeing my girlfriend for some alone time :)
I did not feel like a dad and I really was not ready for that change in my life, I would go in and out of jobs as I really didn't care about anything about my self. then one day in February my life changed I witnessed the grossest thing ever and that was the miracle of child birth. at the time all I could think was how this baby's head was ruining my happy place. the birth was stressful as I bet most births are, my daughter was born with her cord around her neck, she was purple in color and there was no movement the nurses took her to a table and hung her upside down while they rubbed her back. it felt like a life time had gone by, I asked is she alright and was told by my mother in law to shut up. I was so scared that my child was dead, then she let out this little cry. Writing this has put goose bumps on my arms as it brings back the memories of that early morning.
the nurse past our child to my wife who had a hold then my wife passed her to me, I looked down at this small wrinkly thing and I remember thinking to my self, I am never going to let anyone hurt you. I started to cry and I knew there and then that I had to grow up and be a Dad, it was like something had clicked in my head.
So ten years have passed since that day and we have 2 more children, and they argue about little things, It got to the point were it was getting too much for me and my wife as all it seemed we were doing was shouting all the time, this would make us argue putting stress on our relationship.
We were sat watching the TV one night and a program came on the telly called super nanny, It was interesting and we both looked at each other and kept watching the show. the lady on the program gave pointers on how to discipline a child when they act up. after watching this for a few weeks we talked about maybe we should put some of these actions in place and see if it worked.
and you know what? it did.
we would put each child on the bottom step for as long as their age was, so my 2 years old would get 2 minutes and my 8 years old would get 8 minutes, before they got off the step they would have to say sorry for what they had done and then after a hug the day went on. Now the challenge was keeping a 2 year old on the step but we found after 3 weeks it worked, we even started counting and if we got to 3 step time it was. These days we get only to 2 and they stop which is great. don't get me wrong some times we do get to 3 and we still put them on the step.
my youngest daughter once put her self on the step after she did something wrong and we did not know why she was sat on the step. we asked and she said, "daddy I pulled the head of a Barbie so I am sat here for a while".
mine and my wife's relationship has got stronger as we communicate more and put things in place. when they are naughty 3 times in a day they loose treats like tv at night before bed, iPad, or daddy and daughter time.
daddy and daughter time started a few years ago I would work 60 hours a week and never got to see my family and my kids got up set, so I would make sure that every night I was at home I would put an hour and a half of time to do something with the girls, It's great because we do all sorts of things together.
so when your kids are bad try the naughty step, remember it does not work straight away and it's something that took time and effort to make work.
Thanks for reading Drew
I would suggest you break up a long paragraph into several short ones, so the reader can read it with more pleasure.
Thanks for the comment I'll keep it in mind. :)
This is a very inspirational post! I'll keep it in mind for when I have kids. *vomits * Okay... maybe I won't think about that for now, as I still have to finish high school, but I have a suggestion for you. I highly recommend that you put some extra effort into punctuating your sentences better. Commas can be confusing to use, but here's a rule of thumb: any time in a sentence where you would pause, use a comma. There are certain situations in which this can have you using too many, but that is a better situation to be in than your reader not understanding what they are reading. Other than that, I really enjoyed this post :D
cheers mate, I normally get my mate who is a proof reader to go through my blog posts first but he's at work in the morning. but I get you. I am better at art than writing. :)
Oh yeah, I used to be totally addicted to Super Nanny. :)
You brought tears to my eyes talking about your firstborn... it's such a raw moment, even when things are all going to plan... let alone when you have a scare.
My second child was born in the sack. It was so strange. She was like a little squished alien. She was distressed but cried straight away once they cleaned her up. That was not the best delivery. Then are 3rd came along 20 weeks ago. This was my wifes easiest birth. She had chest pain from acid indgestion and i had hold of her leg and was helping the midwife as she couldnt move because all the pain she was in. It was a crazy night i remember cutting the cord as it was the first time as the other two had to be sorted out. It felt like i was cutting through chicken skin with a pair of scissors xx
Lol! Yes, very thick chicken skin! I can't even imagine what it must be like to watch your partner go through childbirth... I almost feel like it must be weirder than actually doing it! Because as a woman you are just kind of lost within the pure physicality of what you're having to do.
My 3 were all born at home which was amazing. But when it's your first time, it's really bizarre because the midwives left after a few hours, and then you're just at home with this new, wrinkly baby, like...okkaaaaayyyy.... what do I do now? Lol!
I didn't sleep for 48 hours after giving birth because I was scared to stop watching him!
Arrr, bless, Homee birth for us was on the cards but she had too much water so it was a may be then they took her into be induced, she only had a sweep and then said to me that it's going to be ages and to go home, so I had only been at home an hour and had to drive back. an hour later our little lad was here so I nearly missed it. luckily I had a lead foot that night to get there in time.
I still every night go and check on all the kids before going to sleep, It might sound strange to some people but I will go in their room and put my hand on them to make sure their breathing. then before going to sleep I'll get up again and double check. love my kids to bits :)
Aw, that doesn't sound strange... sounds lovely. :)