Artık yoktun

in #blog6 years ago

Gecenin bir yarısı, tam yatmak üzereyken rastgele çalmaya başlar hiç bilmediğin ve daha önce hiç dinlemediğin o şarkı..
Canını yakarken çok tanıdık gelir sanki defalarca dinleyip eşlik etmişsin gibi. Biraz da geç kalmışlık hissi gelir.

Hani yangın yerinde
Sevmiştim ben seni
Darmadağın akşamlarda

Bir avuç kül uzattın
Bense kırık bir cam
Yıkıntılar arasında

Ah neden korktun?
Ah neden korktun?
Bir uyandım ki artık yoktun
Uzanıp eşsiz hatırandan öptüm

Sözlerden daha fazla etkiliyor sanki o melodi ve içine çektikçe çekiyor seni.. Bir girdabın ortasında kalmış savunmasız gemi misali; geçmesini beklemekten başka çare yoktur o an..

"Sadece aynanın içinden duygularını da geçirebilenlerin dilini anlayabileceği, sevdiğimiz şairin şiirinden, sevdiğimiz kadının sözünden şarkı." diye boşuna denmediğini anlarsın ve ifade edemediklerini bulursun kısacık anda.

Çaresizligin, kabullenişin en naif ifadesidir belki.. Belki de bir veda cümlesidir bu dünyaya bırakılan "uzanıp eşsiz hatırandan öptüm.."

Kanatmışım yaranı sevdikçe
Acıtmışım canını sevdikçe

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