fucking hell mate, ya can get more sense rubbing a lamp. The old way was to go out into the garden and dig up some earth and put it in your masters cup when he wasn't around, then rinse it off with some off his swines urine and drink concoction. You will have prophetic powers for the next cycle of the sun. Unless it is in the sign of Aquarius then you need to use his masters horse muck instead of the swines urine.
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That's almost exactly what I was thinking! Except, it also had something to do with tea-leaves and bone dice...