I’m brand new to crypto trading and have noticed quite a few similarities to giving birth.. 😄
So, you’ve heard of bitcoin a while ago but didn’t really know what it was all about or what to do with it right?
So, you know you wanted children but weren’t really sure when and how and with whom for some time.
You finally sat down and googled this thing called bitcoin and were surprised that it’s got actual £/$/fiat currency value. And crazily enough, that value seems to be rising exponentially.
Finally, you found someone to have children with, feel this is the moment and become pregnant. (Obviously none of those steps are straightforward for everyone and many couples struggle to conceive, this post is meant to be tongue-in-cheek.)
You sit down and do some research on bitcoin. You learn about blockchain, other crypto currencies, bitcoin forks and ICOs. So much information to take in, it’s quite overwhelming.
Pregnancy hormones help you to focus thinking mostly about the baby that’s growing inside you. You start noticing other pregnant women, talk about babies even if you’ve never been ‘into babies’ and read books about pregnancy, birth, baby development and parenting.
You decide you want to be in bitcoin and try to buy. However, buying bitcoin (at least in the UK) is not as easy as it sounds. It took me 3 days to buy a little bit of bitcoin which was also limited for whatever reason. You need to get ID verified and when you haven’t changed your passport to your married name like me things are even more complicated. BISQ seemed like a great option but nobody was trading GBP on there so back to the exchanges it was. Anyway, another story, I got my bitcoin in the end.
It’s time to give birth. You have been waiting for your due date to come feeling massive and heavy and ready for this baby to get the hell out of you. However, baby has other plans and makes you wait. I waited 6 days until contractions started.
You’re in! Exciting and scary at once! You’ve got your bitcoin and hold on to it for now, hodling maybe or you jump straight into trading or buying other altcoins. Questions pop into your head: How much money can I make? Which ICO will take off? Should I trade, but what if I lose? I don’t know anything about this stuff.
Finally, contractions start and you are ecstatic but also a bit worried about the unknown. How long is this going to take? When should you call the midwife? You’ve done a birth prep course but this is the real thing now and you’ve never done this before.
You decide to trade your bitcoin as the value appears to go #tothemoon. You’ve watched videos about trading strategies and have come up with a plan. You are a little bit nervous and apprehensive and sell nevertheless.
The pain is getting worse and contractions are becoming more regular. When are you supposed to call the midwife?When to get ready to give birth? You’ve got a contraction timer app and it tells you that it’s time to call the midwife.
You are watching bitcoin charts all day to see when you can buy in again. “Is this as low as it gets?” “OMG, nooo, the price is shooting up, I didn’t see that coming. Should I buy now even though I would make a loss?” “This is so painful to watch.”
Midwife: “Hello?” You: “Hi, I’ve had contractions for x hours and they are becoming more regular now. I’m in so much pain, what do I do?” Midwife: “Is this your first baby?” You: “Yes” Midwife: “Wait and see. Ring us back in a while.”
You start to read what successful traders do and find that it’s all in the mind and you have to be patient. I hate being patient I want to make money NOW!
The contractions are continuing and it feels like you’ve been having contractions for days. “I can’t wait anymore. Is there anything I can do to speed things up?” No, just be patient. Arg, I hate to be patient.
After practising being patient you get rewarded with a dip and quickly buy in to make a little bit of profit. Pfew..at least I didn’t lose anything. This was a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m not sure I can do this again. But of course you will..
Eventually you go into transition and give birth to a beautiful baby. All the wait was so worth it but wow was this hard work and an emotional rollercoaster. Not sure you want to do that again. You might just do it again in a couple of years..