Couldn't help but chuckle at the hints of humor you meticulously placed there. Well, I never got to use Coinbase because it doesn't support my country but I'm not the least bit disappointed. You've pointed out many other ways to buy Bitcoin (as well as other cryptocurrencies) and I particularly am in love with option 5.
We all know that cryptocurrency is extremely time-sensitive and a company that doesn't maintain uptime will just cause you problems. I can imagine the frustration and helplessness one might feel as he or she watches the price move in favor of their position, as they still try to login to their Coinbase account to place an order and cash-in, and then watch the price go against their position, still trying to login. Then your amazing trade moves further and further away from you until it is out of reach, and you're still trying to login.
seriously though, thanks for informing people of other alternatives
I've also used Paxful a couple of times. It's peer to peer and it has escrow. I haven't found reason to complain about it
I have found that wallofcoins.com is the easiest and quickest way to get bitcoin or dash. You create an account with your phone number, say how much cash you want to spend and check the local offers.
There are banks and credit unions that you can deposit cash into. Take a picture of the receipt and then write on the receipt and take another picture. Email it back to wallofcoins and they send your coins.
When I tried to set up an account there I could not complete the process. It kept crashing on me, really odd. So I gave up.
That is odd... I opened my account without a hitch and I've bought and sold a couple of times. In fact, it's my best option right now because I'm in Zimbabwe and I don't have many options. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to buy or sell Bitcoin from here. Paxful makes it easy for me. Lots of payment options to choose from.
The rates can be high sometimes, but it depends on the seller/buyer you're dealing with and there are plenty to choose from so I can find a good deal.
Yesterday I opened coinbase account in 10 minutes - excluding time for my doubts. and I completely newbie in a crypto world