I can relate to what you are describing. Having some extremly tense and nervous periods in my life, i admit they were also very creative one. Knowledge pains, insight pains. It is more than true, but maybe (strangely) there is beauty in it?
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I do feel there is indeed beauty in it! ;)
I'm a lover of life and tend not to be too moody these days because of my more meditative and movement praxis. Once I figured out how to push the energy around it changed where it sits.
We are similar here, to great extent. I am full of anxietes, quirks and contradictions. And yet, rarely i am moody, rarely, if ever, i am giving up in anything. What you were saying strangely reminded me one of my old Polish poems, unrelated to the topic. And yet, there was the verse in it worth to quote here "language is eating me up"...
Btw, i just love to talk with you :) .
Oh, that verse is totally fitting and profoundly so.
Your words ring true for me. I feel that life is somehow a gift, that our consciousness dwells in our varied experiences as a means to push the whole process further -- it does feel like it all means something, and in fact is rather sacred. The struggles are sacred, the choices we make in the worst of suffering really reveal the greater depth at play and how we rise to it (life, in essence) or not. As they say “When push comes to shove”, or, the whole thing about being known by the fruit [...]. ;)
I LOVE our chats, I feel you really get where I am coming from. <3
I would even say that struggle is a gift. Struggle gives taste, produces determination, ignites deeper thoughts. And i dont want easy, obvious things. Precisely because life is so precious, it would be disrespectul to not struggle.
I have exactly the same feeling. And quite possibly even threads of our thoughts quite divergent from each other can be tracked to similar roots, at least emotionally so.
And, being hermetic in thoughts, i know you opens me up <3 .
I 100% agree with you on the process and act of struggle. I cannot imagine what I would be like without all the great amounts of darkness and struggle in my life. It’s such a personal thing too — the journey to inner light, the internal flame and how we keep it.
World is through struggle, to put it in concise way. There is wonderful quote from Heidegger, related to that actually, which i now only scarcely remember.
I have to run now, dear bacus. <3 It was so nice chatting with you, as always. <3
I look forward to more.