If someone puts a time machine before me and allows me to go back to a time as I wish, I would like to go back to my childhood when I was like a baby crocodile who is allowed to go anywhere in water but not so far from its mother. Mother crocodile carries her babies in her mouth to protect them from the danger waiting for them on land but never restricts them from enjoying water which is going to be their actual habitat in the future. The same goes for me. I was able to go to places freely that my family knew well. I was able to play with a group of other children who were also known to my family. Yes, there was a boundary in everything but right now I know it was necessary for a child who is vulnerable to make mistakes at everything.
I think everyone of us, at some point in life, wants to return to childhood. It is the time when we had no pressure as our elders carried that pressure for us. They did not want us to know how difficult the world could be for us. They were our guardian angels. A million words will not be enough to describe their sacrifices for us, so I am going to save my thoughts for another day. Now, let’s get back to today's topic ‘Childhood’.
By the way, before starting, I have a question for all of you. What was the year when you were a first grade (class) student? It was the year 2001 when I read in class one. Isn’t it interesting? In 2002, I was in class two. I was promoted to grade three in 2003. As my grade number and the year were the same it always makes me feel special for no reason. Why won't it be? Those were the days when I didn’t know what expectation is, what depression is, how it feels losing someone used to be very close, why we need to act happy when we are not. Those were the last days when I cried in front of others whenever I was sad without thinking of being judged. I can remember the day I was crying the whole day just because my elder brother forced me to wear a full sleeve shirt. I didn’t go to school that day as I like my half sleeve shirt very much. But nowadays, one could rarely see me in half sleeve shirts. Now, I can’t stop laughing whenever I remember it. How childish I was. But the funny thing is, childhood is the only time to act childish when none will be there to judge you.
Hide and seek was one of my favorite games in my childhood. One boy or girl was selected randomly to seek others. He/she had to count 1 to 10 with closing eyes and others needed to hide before he/she finished counting. My favorite place to hide was a storeroom on the rooftop. It was as quiet as the moon so one could hear his breathing. As it was my favorite place, one could find me easily if he/she wanted to but there was an advantage to hiding there. We generally used to play hide and seek when load shedding happened. The storeroom became darker at that time and my friends were very afraid of darkness back then. So it was undoubtedly challenging for them to go into that room to find me. The game was so interesting among children that none ever denied playing hide and seek.
Recently Netflix has streamed another blockbuster television drama series ‘Squid Game’. It has eight episodes where the first episode is named ‘Red light, green light’. I also used to play this game with my childhood friends. One needs to stay close to a wall at a distance from others counting 1 to 10. While one is counting others who had to slowly move close to that person. Suddenly he/she stopped counting and turned to find someone who was still moving. If he/she found someone moving yet he/she got released from counting. The funny part of the game was when everyone stopped moving instantly. The position they stopped made everyone laugh. It was indeed a very interesting game for every child back then.
The reason I have named these two specific games is, we are still playing these games in our life but in a different form. This time the reality is a little harsh. We hide from others when we feel helpless, hopeless, or need to cry. But this time, you can’t hope someone must come to find you to take you out from darkness to light. But you have to prepare yourself to fight alone with all your insecurities. Most of the time you have to be your only friend. It may make you stop at a point. But you have to be so ambitious to reach the goal whatever it takes from you. Yes, there you may find some friends or well-wishers who are willing to accompany you or show you the path to achieve your goal. If you could find someone like them then treat them well. Give your best effort to make them feel special to your life.
While writing this I recall some good friends from my childhood who were meant to stay there to the end. But now they aren’t here to hear my stories. I miss them a lot. This is life. And life must go on. This is like a show in a theatre where the plot changes every second. I am the survivor (HERO) of my show. I am blessed with some precious friends who are still by my side. We support each other when needed. They are helping me to be the HERO of my life that I wanted to be.
