Hello :)
Yes it is so difficult.

The emotional state that overrides everything is basically the pain and fear that comes from responding to a story that has a strong personal note to it.

If we are fortunate we have a friend who can remind us when we are taking things personally, and invite us to drop the story or to simply come back into our bodies through breathing and or mindful movement.

Talking is largely a waste of time, unless it really does help to question the validity of the story that has compromised our sense of...validity.

Rather than patching up the stories of how loved and valuable we are, I find it preferable to simply come out of story and all the confusing emotions, back into sensation of what simply is. Back into my biology, if am alive at least "that" is still working ha ha.