The most violent element in society is ignorance. - Emma Goldman
Is that true, Emma?
It really seems that we've forgotten how to appreciate self-sufficiency.
The only way we feel recognized and valued is through standing ovations. Our adventures need to become harder, faster, better, stronger, wilder - and more dangerous.
Danger pays off. The deadly thrill kicks - and boosts our click rates.
How far do we go for some attention?
A surfer during a hurricane swell in Newport Beach in 2014
The kick of the click
Hurrican Irma that will be approaching Florida's coast in a couple of hours keeps the whole world on tenterhooks.
Millions of people were asked to leave their homes.
And even if Florida's governor hadn't been so empathic on telling them to leave the state, their natural instinct would have told them anyways: escape!
Still there were people who decided on doing the exact opposite. The 16-year-old surfer Zander Venezia and his friends were some of them.
They took their surfboards in order to ride the wave of their lives.
R.I.P. Zander Venezia
Zander Venezia was the very first victim, by default, of Hurricane Irma. He died at an age of 16 while trying to ride a swell generated by the Category Five 185mph hurricane on Barbados.
Zander was loved for being an extremely positive and kind person, he will be terribly missed.
When tragical accidents like this one happen, the first question that comes to my mind is: WHY? WHY did he need to do that?
According to the news, Zander told one of his friends in the water right before the accident:
I just got the best wave of my life!
Being a surfer by myself, I can comprehend the attraction.
Yet I wouldn't ever consider risking my life to catch 'that one wave'.
It seems that there has been a paradigm shift from intrinsic motivation to extrinsic force.
The primary driver of the thrill is not even real anymore.
One of the most famous surf movies in history is 'Point Break'. Everybody knows how it ends: the hero dies surfing 'that one wave' he was waiting for his entire life.
If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love. - Bodhi (Point Break - The Movie)
Yes he was pretty aware of the danger, but he didn't do it for his followers.
While some of the famous surf legends we know from books and movies were obsessed with the idea of seeking the ultimate swell because of spiritual reasons, nowadays there is another big driver that motivates extreme sportsmen to exceed their limits: attention.
Actually attention seeking is a natural process.
Getting attention is even necessary for life's vital enterprises. It can be the difference between life and death in a crisis.
Providing and receiving attention is part of our social instincts that are activated when we are born.
Now an extreme need for attention is not a character flaw.
According to psychologists, excessive attention seeking is a brain wiring response to early developmental trauma caused by neglect.
Newborns are extremely dependent on getting their mother’s attention for survival. The more their needs are neglected during early development the more the child equates getting attention with survival and safety. In turn, the more he or she develops the belief system that it is necessary to go to whatever lengths to get attention. (Source: Psychology Today)
How far do they go then? To death.
A Russian model crossed the line when she dangled precariously from the scaffolding of a skyscraper in Dubai
The overall excuse for insanity: "It went viral."
It almost killed me, but it went viral.
And the audience nods in agreement.
Danger of death as part of storyboards has become socially accepted.
As attention spans in digital networks get short and shorter, protagonists get desperate and more desperate.
According to Lucy Clyde, a counsellor and psychotherapist, that phenomena effects especially young people (aged 17-21) who go through a necessary narcissistic stage as they seek to find their place in society and move away from their caregivers.
Like taking huge care to get the perfect selfie as this stuff stays online forever. That’s a pretty unique pressure and it has to create a painfully pressured state of mind. This has the potential to amplify pre-existing narcism. And to some extent we all have narcissistic traits. (Source: The Guardian)
Are we able to prevent these people from putting themselves in danger?
People are looking for love in the end.
By paying attention to extremes, we push people towards dangerous situations.
The easiest way of making a difference is stopping to reward this type of content, letting people know that we love them just how they are (no matter how crazy their actions), rewarding a healthy way of self-portrayal - and teach self-esteem.
Since we're all moving ourselves in these networks on a daily basis, we need to assume responsibility and PAY ATTENTION VERY CAREFULLY.
Stay safe, steemians!
Marly -
Pictures found on ocregister.com, vimeo.com, surfertoday.com and photar.ru.
@surfermarly I just published a piece on the subculture of Skywalkers. It's an extension of Urban Exploration which focuses on breaking into the tallest buildings, climbing without any safety harnesses or ropes, and taking selfies/video for YouTube. In some cases absurd stunts are performed. Some of the most popular social influencers in this subculture have 685,000 subscribers and monetize their channel with custom shirts, gear , etc.
I agree with your position it revolves around attention seeking but I think it goes even further when a person can open an e-commerce site for like $30, build a brand presence for like another $50 through Fiverr, then monetize their army of armchair voyeurs for income which would far surpass a college-educated middle class worker, much less a summer job at McDonalds.
In some ways it reminds me of Romans packing the stands in the gladiatorial arena cheering the spectacle of carnage for an afternoon of entertainment - largely because they are not at risk. In order to keep the mob entertained, ever greater risk and spectacle is required.
Personally, I have a very strong libertarian streak around personal freedoms, and don't think I have any place to limit what an individual chooses to do with his or her life, so long as what he or she chooses to do does not infringe upon the liberties of another individual. That being said, I am VERY conscious of what I consume and support with my dollars. In the end, if you are consuming the media and purchasing the merch, you are perpetuating the activity.
Great post.
What a great comment! Thank you!!!
You're absolutely right, everybody is free to do whatever he or she wants to do in life. However, I think it's important to not look away when things like these happen and tell our kids and their friends and their friends to not imitate them and not risk their lives for a moment of fame.
I will definitely check out your article, that's a very interesting field - thanks for the hint 😉
Have a good evening!
Ugh, crazy... I guess there's a big difference between dying doing something you love (like Bodhi) and dying trying to feel loved.
Exactly! That's the point.
Marly, so well written, this post has such a right balance, that can rarely be achieved on such an emotive subject, thoughts go out to everyone affected by this tragic loss and especially to his family and friends :(
Thanks for your nice comment! It's always complicated to find the right words when tragical accidents like these take place... We're in-between shock, emotions, anger and pain - wanting to turn back time in order to take him by his shoulders and tell him to not paddle out this day...!
So sad to loose a vibrant young person in this way. Thanks Marly, for reminding all the fun-loving surfers to stay safe and live another day.
Yes it's incredibly sad, especially because he was such a warm-hearted and loved young person.
I hope Irma will calm down soon!
So sad to hear of his death, I guess he was doing what he loved when he passed, but I think its sad he left far to early there was so much more that he could do with his life
I did some crazy stuff in my youth but always with a sens eof how much damage I could do , its fine to perhaps risk breaking bones and such but doing something with a fairly high risk of loosing your life is for me living over the edge
I think we've all done these things. But this here is another level. It's just insane.
His death really touches me. He was definitely too young.
Do you know what the waves were like? I'm having trouble finding info for the area he was in.
What do you mean? The height?
Ya I think the biggest I read was 20ft.
Big enough...
I would imagine it has hit you and the whole surfing community so hard
You write some really poignant stuff at times miss Marly, and this is one of those times.
I've never really been one for the limelight, it usually means you have to step on people (or a surfboard in a cat 5 storm) to do so. Not my style.
Although, I bet I was a squeelier as a new born! 😁
Happy Sunday fun day!
Thank you. Sometimes I feel the need to wake people up...
I appreciate limelight, but not putting myself or others in danger.
Have a nice weekend, too!
I must say that I read somewhere that a young youtube couple want to make a crazy thing. she need to shoot him with a real gun but he have a book on his chest. but it goes worst. the bullet goes trough the book and called him. she was pregnant and now alone. They was doing it to get more famous on youtube.... my up vote you have....
There are a lot of stories like this one. People are driving crazy.
Thanks for your support!
I think you should ignore those guys completely, no clicks, no screenshots, no talking - the "fame" encourages more people to follow. It is like alcoholism, don't offer beer to an addict.
same with porn, demand, attention and clicks will keep supply high.
Seems to be a total disconnect anymore in terms of life and risks lately which I just can't understand as I value my life and want to live a long healthy one. I am sure its exciting and thrilling but you have got to understand its at very high risk to losing your life which you just don't come back from. There is no retry, reset etc. My heart goes out to his family and others effected by this storm. Stay safe and don't risk it if you can get out by any means then honestly get out take a vacation for a few days away from the storm.
You're absolutely right. There is no way to come back. I bet if he knew that this was supposed to be his very last wave, he wouldn't have paddled out.
Love, compassion and caring for attention are natural human instincts. But sometimes, some people can not control the instinct well, so desperate to do things that can harm yourself.
A person's excessive love for something, makes him want to do more, so that the people around him or even the world, give appreciation and attention to what he does. Humans sometimes have to pay dearly every madness that is done.
I am sorry for the incident that happened to Zander Venezia, his courage to take risks as proof of his totality to his love.
Unfortunately not only one of his friends was brave enough to stop him. They even decided to join the madness.
Sometimes what someone does, others also want to forget it. But they did not have enough courage to start. When someone starts out, let alone with great passion and confidence, others will be attracted to the iron that is attached to the magnet.
To get attention is right but when you are there no more who will be happy for that attention. Life is a beautiful gift of the God given to us . It can create wonders in the life and change the life of the others. Atleast we should think many times before taking such kind of steps. It looks all non sense to me.
It doesn't only look as if it had no sense. There is none.
Hey, so sad for the young guy Zander, he should have known better, but he was only 16 years old... What stupid things have I done at that age, lots...
The psyche is a strange creature, sometimes it drives us somewhere we better not go.
You asked me to inform you when I wrote about my past... So here's a little start... and some waves too! ;-)
https://steemit.com/psychology/@pele23/clearing-my-mind-seperating-the-important-things-from-the-trivial-ones
Yeah, I guess he was just too brave.
Finally I had the time to read your story... It's a deeply moving read. Thank you!
far enough to write a post about it and to make a comment. It can go pretty deep
Wow I will train with you in order to try this in the next Hurricane!!!!!
When writing about the death of a 16 year old boy, jokes like these are definitely the last type of comments I'm interested in reading then. Thanks.
The post is not a joke, I didnt know that the pic relates to the death of the young boy-
my sincere apologies. May his soul rest in peace!!!
I would have done the same. I don't think it is for the clicks necessarily. Some people are just driven and this drive can't be explained unless you feel it yourself.
You would have done the same, so you are a surfer, too?
Btw I remember your name. You asked me for some tips regarding your blog which I gave you. Then you never got back to me again, not even to appreciate the help... Small steemit world :-)
Yes I am a surfer and I remember as well. I am just a bit of an introvert so it takes a bit for me to speak out.
RIP young one! At least he died loving what he did. Even though it wasn't the smartest thing to do.
I have zero understanding for such behavior. The only thing he achieved was ruining the lives of his family and friends.
Great message @surfermarly.....and I agree. I have a peeve when I hear that line "at least they died doing..." They died. And they are people being missed by people. Their "fun" or "adventure" created a painful hole in hearts. There is no EVEN THOUGH!!
Have to disagree....he only ruined his own life....we cannot live our life constantly thinking I can't do this or that because it might make someone sad.....Lavoy Finicum gave his life to protect others and stand up for freedom....His daughter wrote a beautiful piece recently and spoke of how she missed her father and how she missed him but I'm sure she understands his actions...RIP Zander
Not sure if you even read my article? Zander didn't voluntarily die, it was an accident. He decided on risking his life surfing a hurricane.
Lavoy Finicum was a freedom fighter and shot by an officer, so these are two COMPLETELY different stories...
I wonder if the hurricane was really the cause or just an inexperienced surfer in waters he shouldn't be in, other articles say he was a professional surfer though. I'm surprised it seems no one had a ski out there to tow him in faster. Fairly common every hurricane that the surfers are out. I'm glad he didn't do this with motivations of becoming internet famous and it's very sad he passed.
He was on his way to become a professional surfer and just won an important tournament.
Whatever his motivation was, it was the stupidest idea ever.
I don't see it as very stupid, but I understand the guys big wave chasing for a lot of those kids those are the best waves they will see for maybe 20 years depending on if they have the money to travel or even continue surfing. It's just really common for surfers to be out during times like this I would chalk it up to more of a freak accident then a act of stupidity causing his passing.
He was on his way to become a professional surfer. He would have been able to surf big waves his entire life all around the world with no need to be out there during the biggest hurricane ever recorded in history.
The fact that "it's common" doesn't justify the behavior still. Also think about rescue teams who need to put their lives in danger then to rescue people like him. It's a whole chain of unnecessary actions - and at its end there are his parents who won't ever be fully happy in their lives.
Rescue teams do not rescue in these circumstances they let the public know ahead of time if they stay it's at their own risk. All I am getting at is that its not like these surfers where out in 180mph winds surfing, the conditions where probably like a choppy day at pipeline. Also I'd have to guess the waves wern't very impressive or people would have their skis out there and easily be able to pull someone out who was injured. Just with any activity their is a risk factor, surfing even on bigger waves isn't nearly as extreme. I hope his parents don't take this to heart because really it's just a freak accident, this same accident could have happened on a 6ft set if you get caught in the break zone on a reef break.
Great post @surfermarly. Thanks for sharing :-)
Risking life for getting attention make it worse and worst is yet to comes when it hits the coastline.
Some people really risk their life for attention..
WOW
These people are out of there ever lovin minds :) Got to love their fearless attitudes though .. Imagine how far you would go if you were this fearless in everything you did? HMMMMMM ... good thought :) No one deserves to loose a life being fearless though .. Very sad loss!! Have a GREAT day Friend .. SUNSHINE247
Fear is a very important attitude. It saves lives in the end. Without fear we are lost.
I agree 100% .. Love you Friend .. Thanks for sharing this post today!!! SUNSHINE247
it is scary to me.. ow!!
Too bad about that young surfer. He got the wave of his life. And the model over the edge. Sure she got attention. I am old now and prefer to stay safe.
I prefer that, too.
That is too risky
I am a Bboy (breakdancer.)
It seems super dangerous to the layperson, but I can honestly say it's not. I mean, there're risks and everything, but it's certainly nowhere close to these sports!
Heck, you know the recognizable headspin, where we, spin on our heads? I never had interest to learn that for fear of gaining a bald spot.
I can understand how passion can really drive us, especially at this day and age when the attention economy is prevalent in social media.
But at the risk of death from a single slip up? No thank you.
Thanks for the post @surfermarly
nice post.. I upvoted u.....u can also check my post. Thank u
Wow. This is so sad, how people will go to the limits, endangering their own lives like Zander Venezia( R.I.P Zander Venezia) even though this is what he lived for and he died doing what he loved, but life is too precious so I don't think that I would ever understand that. I just feel heartbroken for this young man and his family. Now as people doing it just for attention, like a selfie, that is just outrages. I guess some of them are looking for love or approval because they didn't feel loved or appreciated, but I also think that in some cases people had too much attention all their lives, and they can't handle not having the attention all the time, so instead, they have to go to higher limits. I didn't expect for this post to be so eye opening. Great post once again @surfermarly.
hahahahahahahahaha.. lol
Thanks for sharing... Love it.
Love it? You love seeing people putting their lives in danger?
wow, nice story. god bless us
What is exactly "nice" about a 16 year old boy dying???