The hilarious thing about ass-licking is that we all know you are licking ass, except you. We know how you sounded 3 years ago when your head was buried in there, and we know how you sound now that you are licking a different ass! You can’t be speaking from both sides of your mouth. When you raise your head to catch your breath or probably to share the enthralling news of how good/amazing/incredible/special you believe this thing/person/event is, someone is definitely going to tell you to clean the slur running down your mouth; because we know you are not viewing the situation from across the table – your view is from the rear; aka “shithole”. So relax, nobody is buying your story, it stinks literally.