Things_that_I_wrote#1: The Tattoo

The tattooer raised an eyebrow when he saw me walking through the door,
But of course he dared not ask unnecessary questions.

"Where do you want this time?"

"Right here behind the shoulder, next to Dina." I said in a bored tone.

"Something special?"

"No, they all leave the same mark in the end.
Just write is there and it will be enough "

"You have to calm down, you know, at this rate you will not see your own body," said the tattooer, half worried half
trying to find an excuse to hear what had happened, "and anyway - It's a shame you know? - there are better ways..."

I looked at him, a curiosity that could risk his living- I should throw him a bone.

"When you wear a garment, you allow the other to look at your 'transition' - to see invisible things like 'style', 'ideology', 'belief', and so on.
What I'm looking for is no different, so people will see my 'beyond'. "

The tattooist paused for a moment and asked, "but the result is the opposite: it attracts attention, so people will miss your so-called 'beyond'."

I marked him with my hand to continue his work, I gave this unnatural awkward silence to continue.
The irritating buzzing rattles and spreads, I let the spoken words penetrate into space no less profound than the ink that penetrates my skin and perpetuates 'Jassica' among other girls whose names refused to fade from my skin or from something else that was once more important than my skin.

When the door was already opened and I was half-way outside I told the disappointed tattooer with half-smile:
"And maybe ... that's what I'm trying to say.
Or that's what they taught me.
That there is no 'beyond', no stable 'faith', a strong 'ideology' or 'style' - only a dull boorish and hollow 'Me' and the girl who, despite this dull 'beyond', will see in me something else.
'Beyond the beyond' Maybe...
Well, a name of a girl like that is probably worth being engraved in a deeper place. "

this was a prose I wrote in my native language, so I hope I translated it in a way that could pass on the feeling I wished to express
hope you enjoyed it :)
till next time