I think they may be too bright but it is not just you. I kept redoing the mouth and teeth. The first time it was all too bright. Then I dulled it down and it looked too dull I think it is a matter of experimentation ! I even tried using the eyedropper to select actual tones from the photo for the teeth and it just didn't work it looked like she had dirty teeth. So I'm still not sure what it is - I think I would need advice from someone who has more experience in these things. Anyway I had to stop tinkering with it at some point otherwise I would still be messing around with it a year later!
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I could give you a few pointers if you assure me you really want them.
I mean you did a good job, but fresh eyes allow for seeing things that we can't see ourselves because we are so close to the thing, after all those hours.
Portraits of specific people are always harder than doing a generic person, but the things that are troubling you are mostly generic. IMHO
I hope you understand what I mean.
Let me know that you would like to know what I am seeing as faults which I would keep to myself otherwise.
Because you did a great job at it and I would hate you to think I mean otherwise.
big hugs