Taking Risks as an Artist - (And Hello from a New Minnow!)

I'm finally here on Steemit! I want to say a big hello to everyone reading! I've heard amazing things about this community, so I want to thank my good friend, @amandarichards, for persuading me to join. My goal is to provide a space here to share my experiences being an actor and musician and honestly just a human being living in Portland, Oregon who seeks to find meaning in everything I do.

I should say that this is not the only "first" for me this week, so I thought I'd share something life-shifting I did just a couple days ago. For me, I believe this sparked a trend of "first steps" for me that I've been waiting to take, and I hope to use this newfound fire to keep moving towards my goals:

On Monday night, I participated in an annual event we have in my acting class called “Fright Night.” On this night, everyone in class does something vulnerable or scary for the purpose of personal growth. It doesn’t have to be acting, and most of the time, it isn’t.

So, for my turn, I arpeggiated an ominous chord progression on my guitar while listing all of the (both silly and valid) reasons I chose to do this particular thing, like so:

Because I’m not ready
Because I’ve never allowed myself to try it
Because it’s significant to my identity
Because I feel stupid for giving this decision so much weight
Because I feel like these reasons will not be understood
Because I’m incredibly curious about it
Because somehow, I think this is right for me
Because gender norms are stupid and dangerous
Because I’m not the first person to do this
Because my role models would do this
Because I am a role model to myself and others

...and so on.

Then, I quietly set down my guitar, sat down in front of a mirror, put my hair into a ponytail and pulled out a pair of shears.

...And I cut the whole ponytail off.

I have to say, the result was actually pretty acceptable, but I knew that this step was symbolic, and that I’d wanted to get it professionally done.

So yesterday, I had planned ahead for the actual full haircut. I have never had my hair shorter than chin-length, but for several years, despite trying to grow it out forever, I’ve been both nervous and incredibly curious about how it would look on me.

In this moment, I have surpassed the anxiety and surreal dreams about salons full of people with short hair that I’ve had for the last week leading up to this moment, and now I hate to admit that it feels like this was no big deal at all.

—Which is totally the point. I hope that when I need to take bigger risks, I can remember this night and the giggles that welled up inside of me as my hair got shorter and shorter.

So, there it is. How do you like my new look? I call it, “Facing my fears.”

Thank you for reading, and since this is my first post, I'd love if you would give me a follow and introduce yourself in the comments. Any other musicians out there? Actors, inventors, creative thinkers, architects, etc?

And I encourage you to share something that is fueling you towards your goals right now, if you feel compelled! The more we all do this, the more we encourage others to do so.

Woohoo, I did it! Until next time... - Renée