BEASTLY TALES

THE SPYMASTER

The government rules with an iron fist
Over a country known as Clampist,
From the capital city of Caustic Cape
A Spymaster by the name of Dullape,
Sergio Dullape was a veteran spy,
No-one was ever able to explain why,
He had gravitated to the spying game.
For he wasn’t too bright, but not to blame,
For the mess the country Clampist was in
It used to be perfect, neat as a pin
But, since President Witnit had appointed Dullape
Things had deteriorated to make people gape.
Dullape had invoked so many strictures
More than you’d find, even in moving pictures
That the whole country had gone on strike
Visiting diplomats had never seen the like.
Now, what to do with this Dullape fool?
President Witnit thought up a cunning tool.
He promoted Dullape to Chief Spymaster,
After all, he was a major disaster,
Following Chief Spymaster would be Prime Minister,
Now THAT would be particularly sinister.

Dullape celebrated his due promotion,
With a holiday to the seaside ocean,
Very soon, after he did arrive,
He introduced legislation that folk couldn’t drive,
Along the foreshore, near the sea,
The promenade would only for walking be
Not only that, but infants prams,
Would also be prohibited with their mams,
In fact, anything that had a wheel,
Would no longer have Promenade appeal.
Said Dullape, “I just don’t give a jot,”
“But I’ll also ban every boat and yacht!”
The seaside can now be only for me,
And, of course, the wild blue sea.

President Witnit heard this, of course,
And said, “Drat, I’ve backed the wrong horse!”
“I’ve got to get rid of this bounder,”
“He’s nothing but a situation confounder”
“I’d get the Central Intelligence people,”
“To disappear him, perhaps drop him from a steeple.”
“But since I’ve promoted him to Chief Spymaster,”
“I’ll have to promote him again, even faster!”
“Yes, to Prime Minister, him I’ll promote,”
“Then I can have the NEW Spymaster to vote,”
“For new legislation that for no reason,”
“Spymasters can be arrested for treason.”
Then, it was not seen as too odd,
“For Dullape to be in front of a firing squad,”
Witnit himself called, “Ready, Aim, Fire!”
His style and panache, you just had to admire.
As Dullape fell on the ropes on the pole,
Witnit came out with a comment most droll.
“Dullape’s most recent promotion,”
“Undid his destructive work alongside the ocean”
“But see with what clear devotion”
“He now lacks the ability of locomotion!”