BEASTLY TALES

OTTO ODOURS

Lately, Otto’s friends had begun to criticize,
Otto for his failure to sanitize,
His personal hygiene, questionable at best.
Was even more so, when he did not rest.
The more effort he invested, the more he would smell.
Otto didn’t often raise a sweat as his friends knew well.

The word “friends” should be singular in Otto’s case,
Fritz was the only one ever in place.
The others were acquaintances, at best
Not a single one would pass the friendship test!

Otto, humiliated, a deodorant did use,
When it came to criticism, Otto had a short fuse.
“You still smell of metwurst and beer,”
“If one inhales near you, it makes one feel quite queer.”
“So, here is some Eau de Cologne for you!”
“Following the directions will make you feel new.”
“ECHT KOLNISCH WASSER” Otto read,
Otto carefully read what the label said.
As into his mouth a sausage he stuffed,
“MEHR ALS NUR EIN DUFT!”

A few weeks later Otto was told,
“You still stink, you’re not of our fold.”
He would have been banned from the German Club,
Except everyone there smelled of sausage, with a beer rub.
Fritz, Otto’s only friend, never doing well,
Seemed impervious to the cloying Otto smell,
“A friend in some need, is a friend indeed!”
Such a pithy comment Fritz didn’t heed.
“My olfactory senses won’t deprive me of Otto,”
“After all, he’s always there, when we get blotto.”
“If you can find a better friend than that!”
“I’ll happily go out and eat my hat!”