My dog was put down today, my heart is broken.

I don't remember a night in my parents house without her. When we were both young I'd sneak her onto my bed when everyone else was asleep. She'd spend the night between my legs or by my head. We'd get caught in the morning and they'd tell me not to do it again. It was bad for her back when she'd jump down. But I'd do it again the next night.

By the end of it she was in so much pain she couldn't sleep. She could barely breathe. I remember the day we got her. She was the only puppy of the litter who wasn't afraid. She walked right up to the gate and looked at us while her litter mates ran for cover. She never lost her bold attitude.

Last night my sister called me. I needed to come home. My sister was crying uncontrollably. I'd been expecting this. She wasn't able to eat her dinner. The vets say there's nothing else they can do. The day we got her my sister and I were sharing the back seat. She was curled in a ball between us. I was petting her and I remember looking at my sister, "she's ours." I said and she smiled back at me.

She had a warriors spirit growing up. She could never be broken. A true alpha. She was dominate and demanding, but she loved all of us. I tried to kill myself when I was 17. I wrote the note and had the knife. She came into my room and sat with me. I sobbed into her neck and she just stayed with me.

She wasn't a good mother. Only had one litter but, just wasn't good with the puppies. They looked just like her, I named them Apollo and Orion. The third one, Hermes, didn't make it. She became even more attached after them. Not really being able to stand it when one of the pack left her sight.

She was 16. That's beyond old age for her breed. But...dads birthday is next month. She's never missed one of those. Halloweens coming up. She loved passing out candy. Christmas is coming, she could unwrap a present faster than anyone....she was 16. And I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

I made sure the last thing she felt was me stroking her back. The last thing she heard was "You're a good girl diamond. We love you." ...she was stubborn and single minded. She was protective and passionate. She was my first dog....and I wasn't ready to say goodbye.