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I ain't had none in 3 years, guess I have been "restricted"

Hey, I've been married to the same guy for 9 years. Our idea of sex is either back scratches or saying "Fuck you" to each other. LOL

Dude, you're hilarious and I'm sorry

"Can't we just do it the old fashioned way?!"

what do you mean "wait"
Sexual restriction is one of the main reasons religions exist!