Voluntaryism
Far less heard, and as such when I first heard this term used I didn't have the same resistance to what followed. I didn't try to put it through a filter to twist what I was reading into something that fits any of my preconceived notions.

I guess I am just ultimately curious as to why anarchist would continue to be used and held onto if it created such an obstacle to adoption?

Great observation, and interesting to hear your experience with this.

I agree, that 'anarchist' is a really polarizing and often misleading term. I way prefer "voluntaryist", if I had to pick a label.

It's less of a loaded and confusing term, and I also like that it's "ground up", it's a positive of what you do want rather than an opposition to something else -- while I don't like labeling or trying to define myself by one term, if I had to, I'd prefer it to describe what I believe, not what I oppose.

As far as why the term is used, good question. Of course, there's no one who gets to "decide" these things, so if you hear other people using it, you'll use it too in those circles. But your question is a good reminder to be more conscious of the words we use and if they're really the best way to describe what we're talking about.

The even worse term that I can't stand is "Anarcho-Capitalist" lol. You have anarchy and also the loaded term "capitalism" rolled into one.

It's like, if I had to put a tin foil hat on, it seems maybe not accidental, that the opposition to state power would be labeled the most bizarre and confusing thing possible.

I try to not be attached to these terms, like sometimes there's a tendency to want to explain what "anarchy" or "capitalism" really means -- like "no man, this isn't real capitalism tho". But, to your point here, I think it's better to just give up on the terms and have no attachment to them, and use whatever words best gets the point across.