Yes, this is true. Yet I also don't believe most people are as DEVELOPED mentally at age 18 or so as they like to think they are. So are they responsible? Yes. I also think they were often ill equipped to truly know what their decision meant.
I doubt many of them for example realize that if they are protecting our freedoms then why are they continually invading smaller countries around the world that really were no threat to us...
At that age I don't think many of them think those things.
Could the same argument be made for the generals, politicians, decision makers, etc?
They generally are much older and should have a much clearer picture of what is going on. "SHOULD" being the operative word.
I've also met many former military people that DO get it. They didn't get it when they signed up, but they figured it out later. That does not stop them from remembering the guys that were there with them and perhaps saved their lives. It does not stop them from remembering when they see that person killed and it being someone close to them. I think many of them GET IT after they are IN IT. Yet that doesn't mean they can realistically extricate themselves FROM IT.
We can condemn their actions, but there is also the reality of survival. They have to come up with an exit plan than will not put their survival at risk.
So do I have a problem with "memorial day". Yes, but not for this reason.
I don't need a day to remember the people I care about that have passed. That is an all the time thing.
I do see "memorial day" as primarily propaganda.