Ah, I am so glad you brought this up as it is a frequent topic of my conversations with women and men across industries. Such a complex issue in societies overburdened with anti-intellectualism and excess consumption.
I am a model, yes, and became a model to overcome the years of bullying and abuse I received from people who body shamed me and for countless years, made me believe that I was truly an ugly and hideous monster. For me, actualizing the quality of beauty in myself was and is a challenge. My work as a model aides me in my ability to overcome how I was made to feel all my life. However, because of what I went through, I also struggle with the standard of beauty as a value over values or integrity of knowledge, and thus, I ride a very interesting middle he way I advocate for myself and others. I deeply believe everyone is beautiful; beauty is your character and how you shine from inside.
I am working to do my part to become a role model that can help decommoditize women while retaining my right to express what I have overcome.
I would love for you to keep asking questions here as your have touched on a topic very dear to me. Thank you for bringing this up.
Thanks for being open to discussing this.
I've had a lot of conversations with women in tech, as well as lawyers and other fields. Some spend a lot of time thinking about sexism and how it has held them back. Others embrace the opportunities they are given as a women. For instance, tech conference panels are always looking to pad their all-male panels with a female face, which can be hard to find. Certain successful mentors of both genders often want to see more women in tech, so they can be more open to female mentees. Some in the legal or real estate profession bemoan that many male clients are more interested in dating than business, others appreciate that they have a leg up at the top of the funnel.
Both of these approaches have a strong basis in reality - there is intentional and unintentional sexism, and women are also afforded certain opportunities because of their gender. I'd love to see the dialog around sexism in tech embrace a more balanced view that takes into account both, because unless or until there is full equality of opportunity, ambitious women would do well to take advantage of the opportunities they have.
You know, I've been in this position and turned the offer down to speak on the "women's panel" because I felt I was being ghettoized for my gender when they offered the person who forwarded the offer to me, a fellow make executive, with a full 30 minute speaking slot. I pointed out their actual creation of separation in trying to unify for a cause and they rectified quickly.
There is no one answer. We need to change culture.