I'm Alive and Happy - It's a Blessing!

Life is hard and so it should be, shouldn't it? You can never avoid bad stuff completely - all the struggles, disagreements and frustrations... It's all about how you look at things and how quickly you can get back up and be positive again. I guess.

Nobody wants to hear somebody else's "oh-I-was-so-depressed" story, so I'll be quick.

I've been working from home since 2016. I'm used to being on my own sitting in front of the screen all day. So the pandemic didn't really hit me initially. When everyone else was freaked out by the lockdown life, I was fine.

But I became increasingly reclusive over time without realising it. Everyone started to enjoy freedom again but I chose to remain in the shell. I only contacted a couple of friends via messaging. By the end of 2021, I had even stopped having decent conversations with my husband.

I don't think he was worried about me too much because we trusted each other and that's the main thing. He suspected I may have Vitamin D deficiency though, because of the lack of sun exposure. Apart from my running and gym exercise every morning, I rarely went out. I really was pale last summer.

Long story short, my best friend who works as a counsellor, advised me to be "more spontaneous". She says I'm excellent at short-term planning, whether it's my work, travel, what to do next week, or even little things like what to cook tonight.

She says, everything I do seems to be a continual "planning - taking action - results" like some business strategy and I never seem to enjoy the process of it.

She knows me well. If I carry on like that, I may not regret things I haven't done, but I'll regret not enjoying anything I've done when I die!

So her advice was - as cliché as it may sound - embrace each moment. I listened to her advice and in the past 6 months or so, I've been telling myself to try to focus on what I already have and how lucky I am.

I'm in very good health, and so is my chain-smoking husband. We have our own place to live and enough money to live, and we barely argue with each other. In all honesty, I wouldn't change anything about my little happy life for anything in the world.

Of course, there will be some lows and perhaps annoying, sad events, but I can handle them as I always have and I promise myself not to dwell on them.

I've also learned some meditation techniques and decided to meditate for at least a few minutes every day for some time now. But I'm such a lazy arse, I keep forgetting to do it. And if I do it, I fall asleep peacefully, which isn't a bad thing, LOL.

So to sum up, I'm alive, I'm lucky I've got everything I need, and am appreciating every minute of this life.