MARRIAGE CRISIS IN THE COMTEMPORARY AFRICAN SOCIETY VOL. 1.

Image source: https://africanmirrors.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-state-of-marriage-today-is-for-all.html

The state of marriage today is for all intents and purposes, a global concern.

Available statistics can be alarming. The United State has the highest degree of divorce state in the world. South Korea take the second place in this league. In Western Europe, it was gathered that 40% of marriage end in divorce within the first three to four years. The number of one parent family is steadily on the increase; the inexorable demands of homosexual and lesbian couples for more rights of bisexual families send a shoulder on those whose view of family life is still traditional.

Reference: https://www.google.com/search?q=highest%20divorce%20state%20in%20the%20world&gws_rd=ssl#gws_rd=ssl&xxri=0

In the face of all these and more problems, we in Africa, and Nigeria in particular, can have the tendency to view our family situation from the prism of what is prevalent elsewhere. More often than not, we hear of Marriage crisis dailies, magazine and in public discussion. The fact however is that we are not yet there if what we mean by marriage crisis is what we prevalent in more economically advanced countries.

Nevertheless, we cannot offer a cleans bill of health to African society as regards the crises of marriage. This is predicted on the fact that African characters are not immune from certain existing marital problems that could bring marriage to its knees. Such problems include; importance, childlessness, lack of male issue, unfulfilled sexual life, infidelity, lack of prayer life etc.

There are also other vices that could introduce crisis into marriage such as hatred, unfaithfulness, impatience, wickedness, jealousy, and envy, boastfulness, rudeness, selfishness, suspicion, despair and so on.

Indications therefore emerge that marriage in Africa is bedevilled with so many problems that have not only continued to threaten it as an institution but also, led to her breaking down irretrievably or strained and headed for the rocks.

The picture bellow shows some marriage crisis in African.

Image source: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRlZHnDfFjW-QyrCX1bWSMBxVzzlD1RME88_6fFuTL0FvbpqhqF

More often than not, parents have refused or rather don't seem to understand that having married, their children cease to be under their control and somewhat overbearing influence. As a result, they still want to dictate and liive the life of their married children for them, like telling them how they have lived with their own Mother or Father and expecting them to emulate them.

This often lead to either the man or woman saying "In my house or place, we don't do like that", hence the beginning of crises. Worse till , when it is discovered that a man is giving his wife, as she deserves, his parents interpret that to mean he has 'charmed'. But what is wrong with when a woman charms her husband with her love, care, concern and responsible attitude? Does she not deserve to get the same?

Materialism is a serious factor that leads to the breakdown of marriages. This is more so because, when a man is seeking the hand of a woman in marriage in African to be precise, he pretends a lot. He claims he owns or can do what he knows he is not capable of doing.
And the women who are so much inclined to marrying only the well to do individuals hardly investigate the claims by these suitors, there by landing themselves in homes that are far from their imaginations and dreams.

This becomes the beginning of their life-long problems. The men on their side believe that since the marriage have been concluded, there is nothing she can do about it rather than to exercise patience. But far from that, the woman will deliberately want to frustrate him by refusing to do what is expected of her as a wife and the resultant effect could be divorce. And she goes back to square one.

Image source: https://africanmirrors.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-state-of-marriage-today-is-for-all.html

Similarly, men are of the habit of looking for girls that are from a well to do family not minding the moral, social and spiritual aspect of the woman. As soon as they are settling into their matrimonial home, they find it difficult to bear certain unwelcome attitudes of these women, who may probably be spoiled children or may want to dominate them and make them what the Hausa man calls (mijin hajiya) meaning the dominated husband.

Far more significantly, a stumbling block to a successful marriage life emerges when the marriage was not conclude base on mutual understanding of both parties. For example, if one of the couple was compelled to parents or other ungodly means as prevalent in their day-to-day living and finally leads to separation. Funny enough, some women deceive themselves by thinking that they are too beautiful that even if they divorced, other suitors will still admire them. The truth here is that even if you are as beautiful as the gold, once you are out of your first matrimonial home you are a 'second hand woman'. This is the truth whether we like it or not.

Again, some men hide under the pretext that they have every right to divorce their wives and marry others.
We must make it clear that despite the fact that God has given some people rights to divorce but there is nothing the Christian faith, divorce is something that is not permitted, except in some exceptional cases.

A man is expected to leave with his wife for their entire lifetime. Even if one leads credence that the kingdom of the almighty shakes when divorce is mentioned.

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