It depends upon you understanding of" defining you". I would argue that in one sense it did define you. Perhaps not completely as a human being, but it did define you to a degree. It set certain parameters for your life experience, and caused you to grow thus redefining you once again. Did your experience also build character? Most certainly! I would suggest therefore, that this is not a "this or that issue", as both can exist at the same time. Every experience in life helps to define us, whether positively or negatively, and thus it either builds character or it does not. We either succeed or we fail, but we ARE defined to some degree by those experiences!!